Hello and welcome to the shit show!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO ANYONE BORN AFTER THE YEAR 2005! YOU ARE A CHILD TO ME.

But you older ladies can stay ;), there ain't an age limit.

I WILL NOT BE PAYING FOR ANYTHING! I WOULD BE THERE INSTEAD OF HERE OTHERWISE

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Jokes and angry disclaimers aside, there should only be one reason you've found yourself here. Which is, we are both horny and going to reddit in an attempt to alleviate the horny. The purpose of this post is simply to prove I'm not a bot. Blank profiles or profiles with just horny posts look sketchy, I don't wanna look sketchy. Without further ado, I shall tell my story.

Personality:

(I think the best reference to who I am as a person would be Carl Frederickson or maybe Aizawa) - I am a grumpy, pessimistic, exhausted man that deals with children all day. - I am a recovered emo (I used to straighten my hair, no I will not show you). - I am a major nerd. I'll explain below. - Interests: Alright, I am a nerd. Anime, video games, Star Wars, Harry Potter. I have turned to reading manga/manwha online more than watching anime because I'm an inpatient baby. I am actively reading over 100, which I have a semi-up-to-date list of, which includes any I've finished or dropped. I've been obsessed (clarification, I'm not like fanboy level, I casually enjoy them but will get super excited/passionate about them if talking with other people who like it) with Pokemon, Star Wars, Naruto, and Dragon Ball Z since I am able to remember (earliest being 4yo). I am (sadly accurate) a Slytherin, but not evil just chaotic neutral? - Music: Although I am not holding onto all the cringey parts of being an emo, I do still have the same music taste. I have commonly been denoted as the "suicidal music guy." In actuality, I listen to pop punk, metal, rock, pop, and rap. Admittedly, a good portion of them have pretty depressing lyrics, but that's beside the point. When it comes to WHO, my favorites would be A Day to Remember, Beartooth, Måneskin, Childish Gambino, and Kendrick Lamar. However I am starting to gain more and more favor for Jhariah, Tai Verdes, Durry, Nic D, and Connor Price. - The Dark Stuff: So, to keep things as PG so you guys don't feel uncomfy, I was abused (All 4 categories) by a parent while gaslit into believing I was making it all up until I moved out for college. So, I will probably joke about that 😅. Oh and my dad (he wasn't bio, but more a father than anyone) passed in college, which I also joke about a lot. I have a list of mental health diagnosis, including one of them dang personality disorders. I know, cool right 😎

Kinks:

(Y'know, probably a big reason you came here) On my profile, which you probably saw on your way here, there is a kinklist and BDSM test results. I will only change them if something changes, I take the BDSM test roughly once every couple of years just out of boredom. However, I'll touch on the big ones. ) - Sexuality: Completely Heterosexual, pretty much "standard straight male" - Standard Stuff: I am a Dom that switches from praise and degradation. I won't worship you, sorry. But I am also what is called a simp, so I'll probably come pretty close anyway. However, I find it hot as fuck when girls take initiative to fuck or while riding. I would say that I am probably more towards the rougher side of sex. I stick with choking, hair pulling, and other minor bdsm normally, but I have slapped girls in the face, cut with a knife, etc at the other girls request. I do kinda have a sadist side, but I only play into it if the other person is a masochist and/or consents to what I would be doing. Now, someone will ask if I'm a tits or ass guy... My answer, I am a Whatever I find Hot kind of guy. You have a nice ass, I will find that ass hot. You have nice titties, I will find those titties hot. I like having my face rode, but I also like sucking on tits while being rode normally. I just want to add, I get WAY more pleasure from making you cum than from me cumming. Me cumming in just a result of sex, I enjoy sex the most when you can't walk after ;). - Specifics: Firstly, I will not let you penetrate me. I'm not that guy. Secondly, I will not eat ass (I'll fuck it though I don't care). Thirdly, my top three kink categories are probably Rigging, Somno, and free use. Admittedly, I only have limited experience with rigging (people out here be vanilla) and not the other two. However, I am also turned on by secret public play (so not actually being watched but potential to be caught).

Appearances:

(Let's not act like we all ain't shallow and pretend this doesn't matter. Attraction plays a role with the horny) - Gender: I am a Cisgender Man - Race: I am Caucasian from the mountains of Caucasus. - Hair: Medium Length brown hair, typically out back with one of them metal hair things. I have a beard, though it's not as "bushy" as I'd like. My ideal beard would be Cain (https://supernatural.fandom.com/wiki/Cain). Matter of fact, that's my dream look. As for body hair, I'd say I have average or maybe a little less than average. I try to ensure that the bush is maintained. - Body Type: I will just come out and say it, I'm not fit/athletic and that probably won't change lol. If that's a problem, no need to go any further. I do weight lifting, but I don't really care about being skinny. - Extras: I wear glasses now, but have historically worn contacts. Outside of that, I have a handful of tattoos, which will increase as finances allow. I am the tattoo snob that "has meaning" for my tattoos, but I will downplay them if I don't want to fully explain my thought process or think the person will ultimately not understand. - Explicit: I'll just say I'm on average with the country of Ghana (2024)