I wanna be really good at saving money. Sure, I'm afraid to check my bank account now, despite seemingly spending within the set limits and guidelines I set for myself aside from a few too many Lyft rides, one botched hair appointment, and.... actually nope, that's solid. And I got paid for a gig this weekend, very cool. Worst case scenario, I can make it through and will be relatively set on the right path for myself.

I wanna have really nice clear skin like I used to. Of course, the diet of some malnourished 18 year old is very different than a well-fed 22 year old's, BUT I was really good at doing my skin ontop of my diet! Always chugging water every day nonstop, having crystal clear piss, barely any pores, and just looking ethereal... Do I want to be entirely poreless and flawless? Not exactly, I just want to look like I get a relatively decent amount of sleep! I love my sexy ass dark circles, I just want my face to look like "Relatively healthy 22 year old with the mildest of sleep under her eyes", and.... yeah. Not sure what my face says now, but I just wanna look sexy and well taken care of.

I want my hair to be not what it fucking is right now, but I'm getting my money refunded.

I want to go out more; actually visit farmer's markets, the beach, the waterfront, the rose garden, and just have fun loving some random events.

I wanna have cute clothing, but considering how much my fucking laundry costs me.... Yeah, I'm fine not having tons of clothing. What I have is relatively enough, but some extra lingerie or jewelry never hurts. Or another long flowy skirt to toss on when I run errands to freeball it and let my nuts hang out. (My nuts = my big plushy vagina that could pass for nuts when I bend over. I'm kidding, it can't, BUT that would be fucking awesome right?)

And some shorts, or at least some shin length swingy pants, since I'm not trying to have the ends of my clothing drag around the piss covered streets of SF or Oakland this summer! And I also just have really nice legs.

I wanna have a really nice diet and eat good food; I could more often if I get out more, and I love going out. I could attend happy hours to the places I want to visit, and instead of going "Oh do I bring my toxic girl bestie? What about that work homie who I actually find pathetic? What about these men who I barely can get a reply from?", INSTEAD I cam just... attend by myself! And then I can thrive and love my own alone time, like I used to back in the day, with a plate of hot food, some books or art supplies, and headphones and a nice outfit to enjoy thoroughly. :D

I wanna actually work on my online content so much more. I have so much potential, and so much lovely high energy, and I can do it! I can. I can and always will thrive and reach my potential regardless of the situation, and it's really fucking pleasant as well.

I wanna be nice and celibate, because I just work at my best when I am. I know my previous circumstances were different, but if you're just utterly repulsed by the idea of being with lame types of men that don't reach a specific standard, (and women too,) then you save yourself a lot of trouble! Won't need to worry about scaring off a mentally stable man if you just don't exist to win their attention over! Won't need to deal with a man being too poor for a dinner bill if you never agree to dinner with a poor man! Hard to stress over a lack of hygiene in a man if you just don't have one, especially one that's filthy! Lots of it! High standards are life savers.

And I wanna get back into creating artwork. I like it, I made a really nice piece of art today that I really appreciate. It feels nice and cathartic and I wasn't striving for ultimate perfection, just for a level of perfection that catered to my desires and how I felt in the moment. And if I felt like drawing that, with those colors, in that way, then it's beautiful, and ultimately worth it to me way more than if nothing was made. Truly.

I wanna live a life worth living, and not just the confined little life I have been before. I am designed for much greater than that, loves.

Alright cya, peace out. Bye. :D