The urge to bash that man's head in is back! It was gone for maybe two days, of course.

Fuck that.

I'm pretty sure he thinks no one else is gonna want him, so he's obsessed with trying to keep me around. He's a dumbass. Anyway, I did really good for two days! Very good. Just straight up "He's predictable", and already knowing how things would go down.

Typical timeline, as documented:

• Fake remorse and begging and making new accounts just to contact me.
• Inevitably decent behavior, and of course random unprompted offers of a relationship/questions about ever sexxing again.
• Sex that doesn't make up for whatever cringe lack of attachment and bond there is, and inevitable awkward leaving paired with unnecessary drama and hypocrisy.
• Bedriddenness and even worse mental health than before.

The very simple resolution is "I get to enjoy being single fully with zero attachments whatsoever, they get to find some other bitch to fuck and ruin the life of, no matter how inconvenient it is."

No more playing in my face.

Since instead of going "Boy, I sure hope this absolute trainwreck of a man who has historically never had a healthy relationship in his lifetime will one day strike up the nerve to take me out!", it makes more sense to just go on a date with the people who actually hear me the first time for what I want and never forget it. Yknow, smart people who wouldn't put the person they want in a position to be lost.

Do you work on a junk car for years and years, toiling and sweating and wasting time and energy on it for it to finally run at a decent speed and finally drive around after ages and a massive sunk cost fallacy, or do you just get a nice new car that works off the bat instantly and immediately get on the road to where and what you want?

Right.

It's been nice, pleasant last two days. Easy as hell to move on when you can't be dickmatized anymore. Since last time was alright, but it wasn't "Overlooking the lack of mutual interests, failed plans, and lame contradictive behavior" levels of good. And I'm grateful for that!

Like, yeah. There was the comedy show meetup, where all he had to do was show up. He didn't. He bit off more than he could chew, watched porn, had a relapse then cancelled things without planning anything else. Then oh lookie, sadness. Then the last meetup, where all he had to do was help me clean my room, say I looked nice, and actually bother to engage with me. Didn't do that, either. Nope.

Have I gotten anything to impress me to work with? Nope. Since like, no offense, but if I were a man and I had me, I'd be doing The Most. Hell, I already do the most *as* me! I'm fine as shit my boy. Way too sexy. Throat goat, gets wet from GIVING head alone, nice ass, slim waist, unique eyes, plump lips, and big ass rip-roarin' hootin and hollerin mommy milker tiddies that sit up nice and jiggly! SHELF tiddies! Why, as a woman, do you have SHELF titties and a waist THAT small, like a bitch from the 1950s, and you're...... asking a man five years your senior..... for the bare minimum?

I have half a mind to throw a shoe at him for even remotely having me get out of character over him.

Like, even just writing that about myself makes me want to pamper myself! Makes me wanna dress myself in that nice ass silk lingerie I've got, treat myself, get myself lingerie and roses and surprise myself. Buy myself rings and fancy scented lotions, get my hair done in that way I like. I deserve it! I do!

I'll be doing fine. I'm gonna go shower and get all luxurious for myself in a second, and probably do some errands around the house that I know future me would appreciate me doing, even though I tend to have executive dysfunction in the past. But as of now? Feeling good!