No offense, but yesterday, I posted that I didn't know what I did to deserve this life. I know that is something that spinsb through my head so much. I really don't know why I ended up like this. Do I hate my life? I can honestly say yes. I look at the heavens every night and ask God why? He never answers and I really don't know. I have done soul searching and I honestly keep coming up empty. I really wish I knew what was wrong with me inside. I know I have posted that I may be "married" to a narcissist many times, which I partly believe is more than true, but even then, it really doesn't explain so many things. I am so lost in this world.

Yesterday, I added to my block list for the seventh time. I was getting run over by a woman that I have been chatting with, in hopes that something more may come of it. We even had a date scheduled, but she cancelled last minute. Did I expect anything, nope. Did I want more, I'd be lying if I said I didn't. Would I have gone further than hanging out, nope.