So I couldn't sleep last night at all. I woke up at 2:30 am and just could not get back to sleep, so I decided to go for a walk. Some of the thoughts that go through your head on those long walks is incredible. In this case, and the one that hit me the hardest, was that I've never been in a relationship where the girl wanted to be with me for me. Every one of those relationships was with a girl that was with me to use me. This realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I know I shouldn't say this, because it is such a cliche thing to say now, but I genuinely consider myself to be a nice guy. I have a big heart and overwhelming kindness. I never expect anything from anyone and all I try to do is give. With that said, I've given way to much. This goes for every woman, seriously. This goes from Erin, who only was interested in me, so she could get some of her homework done correctly in school, to the narc that I was married to, who let me be the guy that she used to get out of her marriage and was only a paycheck, and the most recent one, the woman that was being friendly to me, so that I could help her at her job. I watch women all the time bitch and moan about guys treating them like shit, when I know there are guys out there that would give them the world, if only they would let them. I could go on and I was going to write a lot more, but for now, I'm just gonna think this through...I don't know, maybe some guys aren't supposed to be loved...