So, they all came back at 5 this morning. I am definitely not saying they did anything crazy, because I found something.

Let's start with, I did what I always do on a day or two after pay day. I transferred money to our joint account from my personal pay account. I logged in to the joint account and saw, it was literally almost empty, yet again. The only money in there was the amount that I had just transferred. I did some quick scrolling and she had continued to transfer it all to her personal account that she gets paid into. We have discussed this, multiple times. I have said, the only thing I do is keep 10% of my wages in mine and transfer the rest over. She on the other hand keeps all of hers and transfers the joint to hers. I got yelled at, because our joint account didn't have enough for the dogs after I bought gas on Monday. I get talked to if I spend any money out of there without her okaying it. How is this a double standard. I am so sick of this.

Anyways, I know this is wrong, but I waited till my future ex-wife fell asleep today and I grabbed her phone to check where the money is going. Fuck me, she spent £600 to get her daughters teeth removed yesterday. I noticed £1400 paid to her son's girlfriend for who knows what. I saw another payment to her daughter for £150 to cover car costs, and another £150. I could go on, but I digress. I think the part that pisses me off the most about that £600 is the fact that she just got back from vacation, on some island beach bullshit and yet couldn't afford to make ends meet for teeth she couldn't take care of. She is literally only 30. Why the fuck are we still supporting everyone but ourselves. She told me a little while ago, that she had to order dog food early because I won't have a job. If you were so fucking worried, then why the fuck did you give £1000 to your idiot irresponsible slutty daughter over the last 2 months? You fucking knew I quit my job 4 months ago, yet you continue.

I'm now sitting here, after listening to multiple insults about how I've changed and how I just don't care anymore. I agree, I don't care anymore. I don't feel any love for her. I am done. How can I love someone who is pissing our retirement down the drain? How can I love someone that fucking signs my own name on legal documents? You might tell me, you didn't know that was a boundary and I will kindly remind you of all the credit cards you signed up for me. I will kindly remind you of the time you tried to rip Home Depot off and my honor made me return to pay for that box of nails. You'll tell me to stop bringing the past up, but how can I stop when it's always the same fucking discussion on repeat.

Side note, I literally get more compliments at work from a young woman, who's engaged, than I do from my own wife. No, I'm not going to do anything with that woman, but I find it fascinating that she compliments me more in the 2 hours she sees me in a week, than my own wife who I see every fucking day.