My wife just told me, "I know you think you're better than me." I just ignored it like I have been for awhile. I felt it was again an attack, one of the many constant attacks. Do I think that, no, not one bit and honestly, it never crosses my mind. Why would she say that, well, I will admit it's my fault that I'm in this situation. I created this dead bedroom out of boredom. I let myself cover my intelligence for her. I let me get to the point where this house I am in is garbage. I also stopped caring and really haven't done much in this joke of a house. I let her dwindle finances for years and have little to no savings or assets to our names.

Let's first admit, my dead bedroom situation, is because I am entirely bored. Why would I want to feel like it's constantly a chore to have sex? Why would I want to be caught in a place where it's so routine it's a joke? You may ask, have I brought this up? Of course I have. I've gone to couples therapy and I've tried to tell her what I like. She just makes fun of it or tells me no woman does this or that. I definitely explore Reddit and see that, even though a small sampling, that there are women who try to please their husbands and boyfriends.

Second, she earlier gaslighted me, telling me I've never read or watched so much informational items. I retorted by telling her that I have always done this and that when we lived in the US, while she was watching reality TV, which I despise, I would be watching or reading information. She of course said, no you didn't, you liked what I watched. I replied no. This has never happened. I hate reality TV, of course making an exception for Forged in Fire, which I really don't count as reality TV.

The house, I should have kept that place in CT and told her to move back to England herself. As I admit, shoulda, coulda, woulda, didn't. I will get back to that level eventually, although it's gonna be a long fight. This place I own now is a third of the size and on less land than my driveway back in CT. It's even completely unsaleable. She broke down more than a few weeks ago, telling me that living here is not her final dream. I asked her where she wanted to be and she responded with Florida. Come on, give me a break, why there? She hates hot and humid weather, but wants to live there. I just don't fucking get it.

She also told me today that I'm lazy and shouldn't be watching people do stuff, saying, "Why would I want to watch people do things when I don't do anything myself?" I didn't respond. Why would I? I have told her that I absolutely hate doing home improvements. Her projects constantly put me behind on my goals of setting up my own business. I mean I did run a very small one on the side and it did make a profit, but I had to take jobs on very infrequently because her projects always were ruining our last house. I don't want to let future clients down. Of course this is not the only problem, but one of many.

The other big problem was, when she would get upset I would try and go do my hobby, to clear my head or have a little fun and she would say you are neglecting me. I never excluded her from learning to do stuff in the shop. I never told her to avoid the shop. It was after all, just out in the garage, a mear 15 feet from where she sat on her ass all day and read Facebook. There's that and the fact she would tell me, why would you want to not see me when you have been at work all day and we've been busy all day. I laugh at this, because again, she sat on her ass all day surfing Facebook, while I had actual work to do.

All of this last paragraph is in the distant past, as I will again admit, I really haven't done much since I got her to England.

I digress...I'm cutting this short...Good night...