How to approach someone into cnc/degradation?

Okay so your supposedly into these kinks and you want to DM them? What is a good start?
Since they are into it maybe something like "Hey dumb slut i would love to fuck you senseless" right?

Wrong! Sure sometimes one is in the mood of dirty talk, sometimes this might work but it's not a good starter. Why?

1. Because they are human. We are not 24/7 horny (in my case almost , but not always). We do have lives. We do have work, we do have some real life issues sometimes and all this affects us. You never know what conidition im in when reading your message. Its bold to assume that its the "right" moment
2. Degradation and CNC are both kinks that build on trust. You wont establish that trust online, but its also not necessariLy needed because its easier to back off if something doesnt fit. But that still doesnt mean that these kinks doesnt require a base to work.
3. I dont know you when you DM me, i dont know if you mean the insults or if they are playful.
4. I dont know what your limits are and you dont really know mine. Thats no base to work on

So if you wanna chat and interact just dont do this. As i said it might work - sometimes - but its more likely you
get an answer to a nice chat

"Hey im .... ", "i see you like degradation/cnc, thats something im interested too, wanna chat"
(Please be a bit original tho xD) but then i still know that you wanna engage because of this kinks, without
feeling stepped on xD

So pet-names are not okay?

It depends on who you are chatting with. Generally i would say, keep them out of a first message.
In my case im okay with it , a simple "slut" is nothing to bother me, its also not overall appealing from
some stranger tho. The expectation that the hunderet DM that day calling me names makes me wet is delusional sorry

So why are you saying things like "degrade me" then?
There is a difference between craving and wanting.
It is fun to think about it, it is hot to me knowing i could just be misstreated and forced to accept it. I can say "it would be fun to encounter this"
And this is the physical side, also the psychical to some degree.

But you cant have this without the other side, Without the Trauma, the life changing injuries in your soul and body.

What are concerete limits now?
* Dick Pic
* Asking for personal information*
* Asking about my past trauma.. yes i know i do include it sometimes, If i do you can try to ask in a "good" way. But if i dont open the topic dont do. Trauma is complicated, everyone processs it different and i wont normalize it being "okay" to ask about these things. But if we interact about it and i say that i cant talk about it rn, dont push.

being pushy about these things is not being a "dom" its being an asshole who cant think to 3

Dont be a cringe dom

Does being a dom mean i have to be an asshole?
No - its the opposite.

For some reason people online think that domming means "You dont get to say no", "Do what i want", "I have to be demanding", "Ever message has to be insulting" etc.

but let me tell you something.

If you have a "task" for me out of the blue, if i dont anwer and you are like "answer me dumb slut, thats your purpose" etc. you will just be ignored. Thats no domming ,thats cring.

First of all we never established that kind of relation beforehand. Doing that is more than invasive.
Second i get a lot of dms i just dont gonna follow that many "orders" naah.
Third is called respect. Im a human, even if online. Im not a machine to do whatever you want.

There is no fun in it. If you want to be a dom start by repecting the sub.

Ask for consent (yes even if they are into cnc, because guess what the first c is for), establish some guidelines,

ask limits, tell your limits, get to know at least a little bit. like name and age should be the minimum.