It's the holidays and I don't plan on making an official update for a good while. But I figured I'd explain how that went.

So Thanksgiving was at my house but Christmas was at another family house. I won't specify but it isn't important information. We did the whole normal Christmas morning at home. My two children are grown so Christmas isn't so much of an event these days. We have a tree up but there is no mountain of wrapped toys. For college aged students it's a gift card with 300 dollars, some socks and underwear, and maybe some electronic or device they specifically asked for. I got my son a PS5 one Christmas and my daughter a new Mac Book another Christmas. The best part about having grown children is RECEIVING gifts. Even before the new aspect of my relationship with my son, he'd always given thoughtful gifts. Even when he was young he would ask his father for money and buy me something. He'd wrap it all by himself. When he was young it was pretty sloppy but he got better each year.

We've always had a special relationship that isn't based on his feelings for me. I know I'm his first crush and he's thought about me pretty much his whole life, but things like this are just a display of how he loves me as a mother. I won't divulge what my kids got me for Christmas but they were both very nice and thoughtful gifts.

Christmas morning I was getting ready to head to our Christmas plans. I know some families dress really fancy on holidays but I just had on sweatpants and a shirt. I was fully ready and was just sitting in bed. My husband was out at the local bakery picking up dessert to bring and had planned on meeting us there. So I would drive there with the kids. Well my son knocked on the door and of course I let him in, he's my son afterall. I don't always assume something sexual will happen or we'll break a new intimacy barrier. I really just was happy to talk to my son on Christmas morning. I don't want to paint our relationship as incredibly flirty or explicit at all times. He sees me as a mom and I see him as a son. We have regular interactions and the sexual times are not as often as it would seem.

He came in and asked about plans and told me things. I'm not going to recap the conversation but it was regular. But while I was talking to him I was getting ready and pulled my pant leg up and put lotion on my leg and he looked at me. I could just see the look and knew I had the power to take this somewhere or keep it how it was. That's how these things usually go. The tone switched slowly to erotic and he sat close to me and I put my arm around him and felt his back. He kissed me on the cheek and then on the lips and we just kissed pretty gently. I didn't think he'd penetrate my ass that morning. Honestly I was just thinking we'd kiss a little maybe fondle each other but it became bigger than that. I've always just let our emotions and natural inclinations guide us. I ended up on my stomach with my pants and panties pulled down to my thighs and he was sliding his penis on my ass and pussy from the back. It was getting really hot and it kind of want into my ass cheeks and was just sliding back and forth.

He was holding my shoulders and kissing my back and neck. I don't know why I asked him or why I felt the need to take it this far but it just felt natural. I didn't feel conflicted in asking. I just said, "you can put it inside if you want." I want to note that he was sure I meant my asshole and not my pussy. The head of his cock was right at the opening and there was no confusion as to what I meant. I was trying to absolve myself of needing it and he wouldn't let me have it. I do the same to him. He said "do you want me to?" And sort of leaving the ball in my court. And I said, "Please."

I want to point out also that by this time he was already close to cumming as we had been grinding for a while. He put just the head in my ass and kind of moved his hips back and forth letting it sink in and out. It was really nice and sweet to see him build the courage to just go deeper and deeper. I could feel his body and just knew despite being anxious, my son was overcoming it. I felt proud. Even if this weren't incest. If this were something normal and wholesome I would have felt proud to see my son overcome something that causes him stress. He was also asking and checking on me to make sure I was feeling okay with everything. Anal sex isn't just something you start doing. I have pretty consistent anal sex. I love it. I honestly enjoy it more than vaginal so I'm used to it. But still. He poured lube over me and was gentle with me until he inched his way in. Feeling my son all the way in my ass and feeling his balls there as a sign that he was all the way in was just.. a lot. This isn't relating to size. It was emotionally a lot. We were doing something and pushing a new barrier. I almost wished I could turn around and face him while he was penetrating my ass but I didn't want to make him more anxious. I know he gets lost in my eyes and smile sometimes.

But just feeling him gently thrust and sink into me and hold onto my shoulders was honestly everything. He was already close before so this only lasted maybe a minute and a half to two minutes. He came in my ass and we kissed a bit after. We cleaned up, got dressed, and left with my daughter.

It didn't feel official or long lasting enough to really feel like I was getting fucked. I've gotten a lot of, "Does this mean you're closer to actual sex?" And honestly, I don't know. This felt like it's own isolated unique thing. We were in the moment and he stuck it in and thrusted a few times very slowly. It was amazing though and I came but it just was its own thing. Best I can describe it.