I would like to finally take the time and admit that I am and have been struggling with my sexuality.

Since I was 17, I have identified as “bisexual” yet, over these years- I’ve never really had a girlfriend. Only some sexual experiences with my then husband at the time. Which, I think made me “unavailable” in their eyes.

I sit here now thinking, am I in fact “bisexual”? I keep finding myself gravitating towards men, but is that only because they’re easier to find?

How do I even go about potentially finding a woman remotely interested in having something romantic with me?

If I came out as a lesbian, what would change?

I sit here single again, pondering the inevitability of my new future. Endless apps, bars and seeing others already involved or in love.

When and how will I find my forever and will I be able to maybe potentially be monogamous again?