THE AUDIO

Script by /u/margo-moon

You're a vampire. You're not the scariest one though, really - you're very sweet and a little goofy, trying to make the most out of immortality. You live with a fellow vampire, just as friends, as roommates. However, you both have been secretly pining for each other for centuries. All will be revealed soon, thanks to your lack of reflections and wanting to prove to each other just how beautiful the other is. So, you decide to paint each other. But hey, that amount of looking at each other and not-blushing will... do things to a vampire.

So, uh... this audio has quite the backstory. First, I recorded most of it way back in 2021. "But why didn't you post it then, Tinkles?" you may ask.

The short version is, basically, there were some lines in the script about blushing which were probably intended to refer to how vampires can't blush (due to the lack of blood flow), but they'd been written in a way that I thought might feel a little awkward to people with darker skin tones. I was trying to change the lines a little, but I figured I should reach out to the script-writer before I changed any of the dialogue in her script.

...only to find out that the she had gotten involved in some GWA-twitter controversies and she wound up deleting all her accounts, and GWA has rules about "no posting script-fills if the writer has deleted their account," so I wound up just sitting on a semi-finished audio for two years. 🙃

I'd mostly forgotten about it until this weekend, when I found the audio files still sitting in my hard drive and thought "well, maybe I can't post this on GWA, but I really do need to free up hard drive space, so I might as well just finish this and post it somewhere."

And now here we are. 🤓

TIME STAMPS

Wanna skip ahead to the fun stuff? I gotchu bb.

• 00:00 - The intro, with lots of random discussions and backstory buildup. If backstories and character development are what tickle your metaphorical pickle, you might really enjoy this! But if you just want to skip ahead to the sexy bits, uh... well, maybe you'll still enjoy it...?

• 01:28 - Some lines about blushing. I changed them a bunch from the original script, but I'm still not happy. Also, Margo, if you're somehow reading this, uh... sorry for changing stuff without asking first. 🙃

• 03:14 - Painting time! It's not body painting. Or any kind of seggsy painting. No, this is just regular Bob Ross painting, only with vampires...? I don't know what I'm saying anymore.

• 04:30 - Lots of kissing scenes, and very minimal biting. You thought that since this is an audio about vampires, you'd get some sexy and bite-y SCHLORP SCHLORP action? Well... okay, maybe. 🧛‍♂️

• 06:40 - In which the clothes come off and also I nom boobies. Or schlorp-schlorp the boobies- OK, that joke is awful, I'm sorry- 🫣

• 07:50 - A blowjob scene. Is it really a good idea to let someone with sharp fangs give your pp the SUCC? Actually, how does a vampire even get an erection since that requires blood flow? These are questions that are never answered by The Lore™

• 08:56 - Cunnilingus, or "I whip out the Reverso Uno oral sex card" 👅

• 10:30 - Now it's time for some PENETRATION- no, I'm kidding, we're actually going to sit down and have a conversation. You want rumpy-pumpy? Well, hold your horses, first we need dialogue.

• 11:40 - Rumpy-pumpy. 🍆

• 13:10 - It hasn't even been two minutes and already we've reached orgasm. Honestly, waiting for iced coffee at Starbucks takes longer than nutting in this audio (to be fair, it's implied neither of the characters in this audio have had sex in DECADES. Maybe even centuries? And here people think doing NNN for a whole month is awful).

• 13:40 - This is some post-orgasmic cuddling. It's actually very wholesome. 🧛‍♂️

So, uh.... enjoy?