My oh my. If I had a nickle for every time I encountered a troubled submissive, I'd be on the Forbes list. Now don't get me wrong, I totally understand that EVERY one of us has our own set of baggage that we sometimes drag along this thing we call life... But often times a bad experience can rewire our thought process which then manifests itself into habitual behavior. The more you replay that unfortunate experience, the more you give in to self indulgence. Which leads me to the term, Trauma Porn. I have never once claimed to be a therapist, much less a psychotherapist. But often times I have found that my compassionate nature is like a slab of honey that attracts traumatized bears who either use me as a punching bag or believe I have the Midas touch that will alter their reality. No one can change your reality but yourself. I too have had horrible experiences in the past, particularly with submissives. However, I very quickly realized that no one person can heal my pain or take away my insecurity. I have to ensure that I'm constantly doing the work. Taking it day by day. Loving everyone in my life, while also not expecting anything from them. In the past, I would tell my subs, "When this dynamic no longer brings you joy, you are free to fly." Is it cold? Not at all! Choose yourself first! If you dream of eating apple pies everyday, but I only offer pumpkin, might be time to find another bakery. (Don't judge my cheesy analogy-- I know I'm funny hehe). Anyway, stay smiling friends and always shoot for the stars!

- Miss Ivory xo