....and I hate it. I'm 27 from USA. My only nephew is my brother's son, so we're related by blood which is the worst part. If he were adoptive or step or whatever then I wouldn't really care. But the fact that we're kin makes this whole thing fucked up.

We've always been close and hes one of my favorite people on the planet, and the closest thing I have to a son. I don't get to see him often at all because I'm in the Midwest and he's on the pacific coast. I love him like he were my own. I won't say his age, but ever since he hit puberty, he has been... Well I don't know how to describe it really.

I've never been attracted to anyone in my family before. I think in general, I'm most attracted to guys on the twinkier side. Which sucks because he is a very twinky boy. But developed so quickly. He's already taller than me, he has a mustache, a nice jawline, cute feet, and a very slim but toned body. He has abs and I saw them for the first time we went swimming together for a party. He's very handsome and good looking, and taller and far more good looking than I am. It definitely runs in his side of the family because the uncles on his mom's side (my brother's in-laws) are studs and I've lusted after them for over a decade.

I dont want to think I'm attracted to him because it feels bad. I think (I PRAY, actually) that it's moreso I kind of have envy because he's everything that I wanted to be when I was that age. Whereas I was kind of a loser, he.is smart, extremely humble, kind, taller, good-looking, nice body, and athletic. Like seriously athletic. The dude plays like 5 sports. And he always got perfect grades in school. Which sounds pathetic to be envy of a teen but I've always had self-image issues. Despite this, we are still very close and I would do anything for him.

I went in his room earlier today and it smelled like ripe teen funk. I couldn't believe that my nephew's space smelled like this. I tried rationalizing this by imagining some other teen dude in some other house and going in there and having my way with him. At least that way it wouldn't be as creepy/incestuous.

I talked about him to another young dude on here because they're close in age to my nephew, but I think that made it worse because I want to bang the young dude and he is actually similar to my nephew.

Now I'm overcome with feelings of post pubescent teens and wanting to ravage them in their ripe, sweaty bed. Has anyone had these feelings before? Has anyone been able to get RID of these feelings?

In another universe where we are not related.... I would be banging the shit out of him...