Enough: (1) determiner: as much or as many as required:
Sufficient, adequate,

Worthy: Having worth/Value: deserving; having sufficient worth

For 20 years, I've pondered the same question. Whether it be relationships, jobs, fatherhood, hookups, the list goes on. Enough? Am I enough? Am I big enough? Am I tall enough? Did I care enough? Did provide enough? Am I thick enough? Am I strong enough? Am I worth enough?

I scuff at the fact that while I sit here contemplating my worth, the devil rears his majestic yet complacent faces around every dark corner waiting for me to slip and before I know it I've fallen down this rabbit hole that leads me to a shallow world full of confusion, delusion, and abusive list of excuses as to why I have not gotten back up.
I wonder, at what point did I decide that I would put on this make-up and red nose and perform for those who could care less about the show and more about the fact that I'd have the audacity to degrade myself just to keep them entertained...all this frown at the nose and "You're a lame!" "Go sit down!" "Just go!" I am the star but I dim my glow because of the boos out weighting the cheers so I drift like low traction tires in snow before I finally crash and the sirens aren't that far and I rest below the high expectations and clouds of smoke.

Am I enough? At what point did I forget that I was made in the image of the creator? That my gifts could shape the world around me? That I could be the match that sparks creativity for generations to come with only a little effort, all it took was for me to take the first step. As angels wept for the boy who has lost his way trying so hard to please those who barely even knew his name. I became this caged beast that some guy in a top hat cracks a whip in attempts to tame but as the curtains close I'm left alone in this cold space. I'm the King of Spades. A symbol of intellect, authority, and ability to accomplish goals and desires. Made for many to admire regardless of my attire I seek to be the one who you are at awe and hold on to like the umpire behind the home plate catching every compliment that flatters my ego. I'm like MIGO cooking up stir fry with my neck tie pulled tight. I know with just the right seasoning I can get you right but my confidence is shot by the rejection of a peasant who once told me my value was only worth a section of the bigger pipe.

I know that I can demand the respect I deserve. Kneel before your king! For I am not of this Earth. I am a general who has lead many fleets across the galaxy. KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!! Is my greatest fantasy. To feel like I am the one who you both respect and fear. To uphold my principals but show passion to those who stand beside me knowing that while I may not be tall I still stand over those who wish to see me fall. I am a king! I am MAKINTA!!! I am mighty and you will learn to acknowledge me!!! No not like Roman who rules out of fear. Like T'Challa who rules out of love with a gauntlet that will silence any who threaten my kingdom. I am Love, I am Compassion, I am a warrior, I am...ME.

Am I enough? I am more than qualified, my resume shines brighter than the light of the sun. I extend beyond galaxies, as I ascend to a higher place where I no longer care who is here to judge for I know my purpose is beyond what your feeble complaints and snickers can overrun. I AM ENOUGH!!! I may not be for you but I AM more than qualified to provide, protect, and please those who seek the truth. Those who are here to pursue rather than to just be a distracting muse looking for a snack that drains my pockets as I play my strings and sing the Blues, I AM the prodigy that will see it through.