I ran towards the exit gate. How many times had I done this. The smell of blood and dirt and unending adrenaline, how long has it been since I felt anything but fear or the indomitable human spirit? I saw him, Park, the first truly kind person I grew to be attached to in the fog. The one who brought the indomitable human spirit out in me. Our stupid dark jokes giving me grasps on this life and every small kindness or soft spoken tip a comfort cherished. But he turned suddenly. Turned towards the road, towards freedom, they’re shutting the gates. I’m still so far…he…he is leaving me here? My body moved faster but the world fell behind glass. My eyes pleaded with his but nothing stops the doors. Shock settles into me, I thought he…stupid…I thought he…I don’t know what I thought. He had always helped me, stitched me up, offered a lookout, how could he leave me here? My feet slow as the door closes. Blood and dirt filling my senses. 
    Before the fog no one tended my wounds. I miss him, my cuts ache. He left me. I hate him, how could he leave me. What is the point? I lived for him. Selfish, putting the burden of my desires on him. My fault really. My knees gave way, my sanity gave way. He left. He left me. He left me here to die. I want to die. He was kind. He left. He left me. His hands were warm. I shake. Im going to die. Thank god. Kill me. He left. He was so nice. My lungs are hollowing out, my heart pounding and I clutch my head. “They left me here to die. They left me.” Something is behind me, but it doesn’t stop the trail of words from leaking from my mouth. How long had it been since I slept without look outs? How long had it been since I felt safe? This weight suffocating me, how long has it been waiting? “Kill me” How long have I been running from peace grasping at moments of connection. “Kill me” Those moments are gone. He stops behind me, silent. I’m shaking, “kill me, I’m so tired of all of it, please.” The coldness of it all presses in on me. Suffocating. He crouches behind me. He is so cold. I wonder if he’ll play with me first, “please just be quick.” Why hasn’t he killed me already. Cold arms begin to wrap around me gently pulling me closer. My breath hitches. “No no no no” my eyes squeeze shut and my voices wrenches, “you’re supposed to kill me!” I can’t do this, I can’t keep living. I can’t- I can’t. His head tucks itself quietly into my shoulder. He has wrapped himself around me. He presses in on me. My heart is being pulled into pieces and my head spins finding the blackness I ache for as my eyes roll back. I fall into his figure slumped in my own grief and misery. 


 My eyes pry themselves open I am in a bed in a dingy room, I’ve seen this room. I’ve had trials here. I’m still in a trial. Fear tingles in me and is replaced by numbness as I remember I’m alone. They left me here. Park left me. I settle back in the bed. I don’t care what has happened or what will happen. I’m comfort myself in the warmth of my bed. 
  Hours seem to pass I hear creaks and groans of the house, but no one is coming to save me. Memories replay in my mind. Times I sat awkwardly too anxious to join as the other survivors bonded. Times I got too drunk and made an ass of myself off the “woods  wine” Claudia would make out of god knows what. God only knows why Park was nice to me. Why that day when I got drunk and asked him to drink with me he did. Why after that day he was around. He began to stick with me like the others did with each other. Even risking his life to save me. To pry my damn near corpse off a fucking meat hook. All the times he waited by the gate, or pulled my hand as we ran. Why now? Why leave me now? Did I do something? The door creaks

I turn. He is tall. Tall as the door way. He stands unnervingly still. I turn back. He moves closer taking a seat in the chair in the corner. My stomach grumbles. How long has it been? How long had i been replaying it all. Following the memories around looking for answers as to why they abandoned me here. I get lost again in memories and questions. He moves. Leaves for a while and comes back in. He grabs my wrist and begins to pull. I don’t fight him, and so I’m out of bed. I am led down the stairs and sat at the table. He places a bowl down on either side of the table. Krafts Mac n cheese with cut up ham. “Why?” My stare is blank as I ask. He sits down across from me lifting his masks just enough to spoon Mac n cheese into it. Why should I eat when park clearly wanted me dead? My stomach growls but the nausea of grief eats it away. He puts down his spoon. “I don’t care if you kill me just get it over with.” I say defiantly hoping to finally be done with living. He gets up moving to stand over me. Grabbing my spoon he kneels in front of me and shoves it in my hand. Embarrassed at his attempt to make me feed myself I shove an unfortunate few bites down. He- he- what the fuck? What the fuck is this? I stare in amazement eating. He, this serial killer, saved me? He saved me? He wants me to live? Shock pulls at me through the meal and I must stare at him in bewilderment. When we’re done he gets up and I follow him with my bowl to the sink. There’s a sink here. There’s running water? Sure enough he turns on the faucet. I thought these were luxuries that only the trials held. “Thank you.” I’m quiet as I watch him wash the bowls. He turns to look at me. I try to smile, it doesn’t reach my eyes. My body still feels cold with grief and pain, but I’ve never been ungrateful.

 After we eat he brought me back to the room and shut the door behind himself. Trying the door, it’s locked so I sit on the bed. 
      My head turns with possibilities. Is this real? Is it a trick? Will he soon be torturing me or worse? If the trials happen here…will someone come one of these days? I look out the window, but this isn’t like the trial version of this place. There’s no exist gates…actually I don’t think there’s more than 15 ft outside the house. It’s a swirling mass of fog lapping at the sides of the yard. Fear laces my body at what this means…fuck. Why is he keeping me? Why does every part of me want to fall into these kindnesses he’s shown me. Nausea rises up again and I curl up on the bed. Memories of what I could’ve done to deserve this wind through my brain. 
     There the sound of door pounding open and stomping steps and then my door is open. He smells like blood. And suddenly I am flipped over and there’s a weight on my chest. His large head rests of my chest his arms wrapping around my waist. I hesitate freezing as if i predatory animal had just flopped on me. Then slowly move my arms around him. I stay still circling my fingers a bit comfortingly. After some time he stares at me. 
     “Are- are you okay?” I ask unsure of what else to do. He reaches an arm up to brush hair out of my face. “Did- do- um…did you kill people?” He drops his arm and quietly puts his head back down. Slowly he moves to pull himself up and over me. He leans down his mask pressing on my lips. I freeze, close my eyes, and wait. His hands are soft as one travels to hold the nape of my neck the other pressed into the bed next to me. He pulls away and stares at me. I look at him frozen. Frozen in the last days, weeks, months, and whatever fucking feeling claws at me to pull him back. He moves to pull himself off of me, but I grab his hand as it detangles from my hair. “I- I well, I didn’t dislike…that, I’m sorry…I just wasn’t ready.” His body language softens he caressed my cheek and pulls me into a soft kiss before moving to wrap himself around me. His head presses against the top of my head. He is so comfortable. My body relaxes. Not numbs, but settles into comfort in a way I had never felt possible. Fuck park’s comforting hands during the stitching. Or occasional drunken hook up leading to awkwardness the next day. I don’t need a lookout. I don’t need to worry. I- I could just lay here next to someone and enjoy it. Something bubbled in me. Something I thought I lost, joy. Turning into him I clutch at the fabric covering his chest my hands shaking. His arms wrap around my frame pulling me in. Joy and pain intermingle as tears begin to fall into his scratchy jumpsuit. I pull away moving to straddle him and this time I flop onto his chest. My arms curling around his neck. “Thank you” He pulls me back and stares before pulling me back into a kiss. 
      This time as we kiss there was no hesitation. My hands cupped both sides of his mask. I kiss his mask not willing to try to move it and ruin the moment. Wrapping an arm around my waist I feel him begin to press between my legs. “Uhhgn” a high pitched noise falls out of my throat as I feel him pass across my sensitive spots. At that noise I’m suddenly on my back and he is looking at me pinning me to the bed. He lifts his mask enough to uncover his lips and jaw before lapping softly at my neck. After a gasp small noises are pulled from me at every touch. I squirm under his grasp wanting more, wanting less, but unable to satisfy myself with him pinning my hands. Pushing himself between my thighs he bites my neck. Pain shocks my system pushing The Who and how of the situation to the forefront of my mind. He was playing with me, he’s gonna fuck me then murder me, and I’m gonna like it, shit. 

  He grinds himself against me lighting up my body in pleasure. His mouth nips at my neck and moves down to my breasts nipping and kissing them. I squirm more making small noises when he hits a particularly sensitive area. He pulls away suddenly and I’m left panting trembling. He moves and sits on the edge of the bed and turns to look me. Broken as I am, I don’t want this to end. I reach out for his arm, wanting to hold him again. Wanting the feeling of him wrapped around me. He seems to go more ridged than before. “I- I’m sorry…I- you-“ I sighed, “I don’t want you to leave.” I look up at him with the vulnerability of someone who just found something to live for. He softens and moves to lay back down behind me, but I turn to look into his eyes. “Are you going to kill me?” I search his face finding no answer, but he grabs my hand and places it to his chest. I take that as a no and roll over. 
        I slept like the dead, no dreams of terror, no watch to keep, just sound sleep. When I wake up I’m alone. There’s water on the nightstand and a bowl of krafts Mac n cheese with ham. I take a sip of water and roll back over hoping he’ll be back when I wake up the second time. 
       A gentle hand pulls me up dragging  me onto a lap I’m starting to get used to. Sleep clouds my senses, but my arms move to grab the man. “Mmm” he pulls one of my arms off of him and pushes the spoon into my hand again. “Persistent” I groan not wanting to do anything but sleep. Sleep for years maybe. Sleep until waking up doesn’t feel like a reminder that being a serial killers pet maybe the highlight of my life. I sit up in bed leaning against the wall. He smells like blood again. “Are you okay” When survivors came back from trials that’s always the only question anyone asked. Dwight one time asked someone how it went and they lost it. Started ranting about how do you think getting chased by a serial killer went. He just seems to stare at me more hollow than normal. “Do you- did you choose…this?” He looks at his hands seemingly lost in my question. I start to eat, but seeing him so vacant began to unnerve me. Lifting a spoonful of food to him I offered it where he could see. Taking the spoon he lifted his mask and ate. I smiled when he turned to look at me hoping to distract from my questions. 
        I think slamming me up against the wall and kissing me the minute I put down the macaroni distracted him too. This time wasn’t slow, but he grabbed at my body pressing his hands into me. Squeezing my breasts, thighs, hips, waist he seemed to me trying to lose himself in me. This time, I obliged even letting my hands pull him closer and feeling his chest pant and heart race as my hands slid downward. Stopping my hand he froze staring into my eyes. Getting up quickly he left the room before I could grab him to ask him not to go. When he came back he was holding two things, a torn piece of cloth and some rope. He sat back down cautiously, showing me the items. Setting down the wrap he moved slowly, gently moving to wrap the cloth over my eyes. Looking at him before he covered my eyes I tried to convey my trust in him. 
       With my eyes covered he tied me to the bed posts and stripped me. I heard the sounds of falling clothes and what sounded like a mask hitting the floor then his hands were on me. He grasped at every part of me with one hand, touching himself with the other. Slowly his hand moves closer to between my thighs. His hand brushes past the sensitive skin making me gasp. Hearing me he prods that spot making me squirm and groan. Sliding a finger along my pussy he feels it getting slick under his touch. Moving to straddle my chest his dick in front of my mouth. I arch as he slides a finger inside bumping my mouth against his cock. Shoving himself inside my mouth as he slides his finger out, and back in I groan. I try my best to accommodate his size but I can seem to fit it all down. He pants and leans against the wall. I slide my tongue along him as I pull out, but as I slide back down his finger finds a sensitive spot and i sputter on his cock. Grabbing my head with his other hand he picks up the pacing. I squirm my toes curling as he starts to play with my clit with his thumb pumping his finger into me. His cock works my mouth bumping the entrance to my throat until I gag, and shoving it back in. I’m a mess. I’m getting wetter and I feel a tension building in me. “Ummph!!!” His cock is still in my throat as I start to pull on the ropes frantic as I feel like I’m about to cum. Slamming his dick past the entrance to my throat and sliding a second finger in me turns me into sounds and sensation. My body is pulsing, and I’m moaning as much as I can with him so far in my throat. I start to gag trying to force it out and he holds my head savoring my sputtering and quivering legs. Releasing my head I pant long ragged breaths, but I don’t have time to recover before he seats his dick between my thighs. “Ughh~” it comes out as a groan but I meant to say something. This is happening so fast. I should say something. Fuck. He’s inside. He’s everything. Fuck. I struggle against my bindings wanting to reach out and cling on to him. Needing to touch him more. More. More. Fuck. He’s pumping me and my voice is stuck in the ecstasy. “ttthaAnkK Y-yOu” i breathe out. Lost in him. Lost in his dick. Lost in him using me. Oh god I want him to use me forever. He’s slamming into me grabbing my hair to pull my lips against his. his other hand pulling and working against my breast. Finally he stiffens pulling away from my face he moans against the side of my neck. Him pulsing inside me I tug at my bindings wanting to hold him, to touch him more. He’s panting laying on top of me and i whimper. I need him. I need him. He lays kisses on my neck and face and I smile. He begins to undo my bindings and as soon as I can I sit up curling my body into his. Pausing he moved to hold me before undoing the restraints on my feet and leading me to the bathroom. 
      Still blindfolded he helped me into the tub and standing behind me in the hot water handed me soap. Clean, he led me down stairs to the table and I heard microwave noises. Food was set in front of me. I went to remove my blind fold and he jumped up touching my shoulder as he walked past and up the stairs. Taking off my blind fold I waited to eat until he walked back in masked, and in boxers. We ate and I talked more than I should’ve. After dinner I tried to wash the dishes but he stopped me. Then we laid down and I slept curled against him and unafraid.