It was the impact

Scraping of the skin

An unexpected fall

Then the biting sting

The warmth and yet a numbness

Standing up, pushing back the pain

I knew the damage was done yet I continued on

This journey is not easy

Not for the faint of heart

And each day I find myself sleuthing

My purpose and the inner desires I seek

To have another care and love me

Yet behind closed doors exposing the most vulnerable parts of me

Receiving pain and pleasure

But all I see to find is disasters

This warmth from my scraped hand and my torn knees a reminder to me of the very life I have

How fragile and weak I am behind this facade of strength I've erected to protect myself

And yet it's slowly cracking, crumbling before my eyes

All the things I've ever been told only to find out they were lies

I want something real, something tangible

I don't want a night of fun or someone who just benefits from being around me

And I bleed

I bleed for all the pain I've ever went through

I bleed as a reminder I'm still fighting

I'll find that in which my heart desires