I read something so profoundly vulnerable. I don't know how people can be so open, with their faces attached.

I come here every so often and write out thoughts and this is the only time where I write many thoughts. Still, I have not shared anything that I'd see as so intimate as what I'm currently engrossed in.

I know what this page looks like to a lot of people. Which was intentional. I so rarely engage in other areas of this space, and that's just as intentional. I used to engage online in ways that wasn't of pride to me. I know pride is a sin, but the worldly parts of me wants to look at something and be proud of it. I'm not proud of anything I do here, just to be clear. I doubt I'd ever find pride in my sexual explorations. Not because I believe they are shameful, but because it's not an aspect of myself I hold close to me in a meaningful way. I was raised (and still kind of live) religious(ly). I had my first real kiss when I was in my late teens and for a long time after that I had hang ups about physical intimacy. So much came in the way, but looking back I feel happiness about that. All that to say that for a long time exploring these thoughts "out loud" was what I needed. Now, it's kind of old news. So old that it's kind of funny that I receive messages on here still..even more weird when they speak nothing to what I (used to) post. Just people looking for something fast. Why put in little effort for nothing? Why waste your time? Anyway.

Nothing can be appreciated more than those who actually share who they are. What a beautiful path to cross.