Highs and lows is more accurate. A few hours ago I felt soooo good because I realized I could do something I thought I couldn't handle. I felt great. My emotions were acceptable. Now. I feel like I can't do it. Something easy now seems a bit harder.

I've gotten a lot better though. Once I leave this moment I'll be able to look at what I'm capable of now and find a lot of happiness in that, but right now I feel like I'm still in the valley. Still having moments of weakness, or feelings of weakness.

I think that's why I've had attachment issues in the past. As I grew older I felt I needed someone beside me after I finally got to experience romantic companionship. Which meant I had a lot of growing pains, still stuff I'm working through.

I'm better than I was though. That's why it feels so good when I finally have my peaks. It just sucks because I know I'll still end up in the valley eventually. Which is fine I guess because I know once these moments pass I can look at how far I've come.