https://preview.redd.it/nkvyglh7i6od1.jpg?width=225&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=83b741476a5bf98a58566fb4bfcbc01b11aed8c5

as i continue to date and meet new people i get to have some really great conversations. all of these things being a natural personality and life orientation is in me..and when you are single and not dating you don't really have to explain all these things or articulate them. they are in your heart mind soul and body..and you just kinda move on day to day with them hidden in your head unless you write it out or share it with others.

and things change the older you get and things get refined the more you talk to people and find what small cracks are needing to be filled or bits needing to be emphasized.

while there are a lot of unique qualities and thoughts to myself that are out of the ordinary being subservient and having what most people in the scene orient to language a slave's heart in my own personal unique expression is probably one of the most basic, regular, common thing to me. haha i don't think why i need it and can't love any other way is pretty common amongst girlies like me. the only weird bit is that most little girls that you come across don't fully submit to their guys to this level and tend to do it more of a keeper(again i don't use caregiver in these parts anymore) level or a lot don't even bring d/s into it and only go full in for the nurturing bit.

while my thoughts aren't anything ground breaking or unique i really liked how it ended up coming out and wanted to add it to my little land of ramble dissertations over here on my space of the lifestyle and spiritual views of life.

just like it's counterpart in real life that the identity is modeled after, there are many different ways to raise someone. many different styles of leading, and many different styles of rearing. from more casual to military style of strictness and inbetween.

while i don't know who he is yet because i haven't found him yet or if i've met him and i don't know it he hasn't asserted that level of commitment and day to day consistent week after week month after month real life actions to back it up yet, i know my daddy husband is of the master variety. he's way more geeked and into engaging with little girl me than masters with no daddy essence or blend to him. but he's not going to be the cool dad, the aloof dad, the casual dad, the best friend dad, the talk to me like we're equals dad.

my daddy is one that loves to know every little detail of me and loves that all i can be is like his shadow stuck to him. haha funny idea but accurate and i know because none of this is mind blowing anyone whos this identity n the lifestyle gets it. it's been written, blogged, talked, real life and fantasized about forever and i'm bringing nothing new to the table there. haha but not everything has to be new, it just is me. hehe

having daddy control my clothes, my schedule, my food, who i can hang out with, who i'm talking to, that constant check in and the constant updating and watchful eye is the only way my heart and little girl can truly be at peace. i have this 80s song on one of the daddy playlists i've made said i will haunt you and that's the level of connectedness i know my daddy will need to have as well. there is no i need my space for me as that makes me anxious, worried, disconnected, and at unease.

the question becomes why do i need a man to know all my moods, thoughts, likes, and take his proven safety, structured thinking, success in life and self mastery, and his ability to lead and impose that on me? and why do i feel unsettled if i have free will?

again nothing special or mind blowing.

of course there's a fun bit of it being a turn on every time i give up my vulnerability, touching that scary bit of revealing myself my thoughts my actions, not just my adult self but the inner child the original feelings and knee jerk reactions and soft spots that in my head the adult slaves/subs don't reveal to their guys because their guys don't really deal with the inner child on the outside most times. haha....and that i finally have someone safe enough to explore, touch scary bits, and someone who is so invested in me that he is turned on knowing every nunance of, got up, going to shower out of the shower getting dressed, getting some food, working, taking a break, thiking about you, omg this report is crazy, this teammate is slacking, fixing my hair, going to the post office, getting some delivery, grocery shopping et all...obviously the list gets long but really with each note the empty head that we all love and the deep peace in my heart, body, and aura deepen and of course that gives a great feeling of what we like being a lifestyle where most people are more hypersexual then the average person.

but it's more than just a turn on for me or a need to mentally check out into sub space.

being into spiritual and astrology things and being very serious on the journey of being collared and claimed and legally married to my daddy of the future, i asked a friend who really knew about vedic astrology to hook a girl up with a person who is good and skilled to help me. and even my astrology and a stranger could tell me from what's in the stars i was born and bred in my soul to be with a man that is controlling but realizes he has internal insecurities as we all do and is able to navigate and handle them and do the internal work to always better himself. haha i knew it before but the reading just confirmed being in service and submission to my daddy to be in the form of literally being available and having him know everything and where i am at all times is just apart of my essence.

to know he will take his experience, strength, hope ,and success and pour into me is something i've always wanted and needed. to know that he cares enough about my well being that he'll take everything he has to direct, guide, and lead me as a daddy does his little girl/daughter is one of the only ways i feel confident, centered, and fully myself. there's always something lacking if i dont know he's thinking of me, planning my future and shaping me into the best version of myself. ambiguity makes me feel anxious, nervous, fidgety, and on edge. constant control and contact gives me peace, comfort, stillness, and a divine feminity glowing and warmth of being the chaos that is feminine in the best safetest container of the masculine cage. how can he truly love me if he isn't worried or curious or needing to know every little thing about me? haha if he's not intense i don't want it.

all of these check ins and directions and guidance shows he actually cares. to know all my favorite colors, foods, interests, goals, etc. and crafting an entire life and day to day schedule that i don't have to even bother with in a way that no only works for me but pleases him and elevates my skills and abilities means he really studied me. and allowing me to have a voice in the shifting of becoming and blending into him where it's not being a different person but a more enhanced better through science better through technology harder, better, faster version of yourself shows way more effort than cool dad or a best friend dad or a vanilla guy would ever invest in his lady.

and that depth of commitment is deeper than what a vanilla marriage can give for me. but because live in a world that's mostly that on paper, the end goal of legally turning my name and finances and taxes to him etc. is required for me too to be in and out of the scene completely his..on my end i notice a lot of men in the lifestyle want the submission and obedience but can't fully commit to the marriage paper, legal documents in the eyes of the law you own this person and i never quite got that disconnect of...we know in our hearts biz, we know in our community biz, we know in theory biz this is full...ok but none of that holds in the court of law...does the law know she's yours? usually not and a lot of people, especially the online only crowd are perfectly fine with that. but for me the ambiguity of that is too mind boggling to comprehend. no shade.

even though this is lengthy this is something i could minute detail pick and whittle down to even more reasons of why it gives me that warm, aura expanding, high vibe, frequency shinning, glittery, peaceful, complete stillness in my body, my heart is so deep wide beating and soft and tender and expansive, my brain is finally resting and still and overall i'm finally

HOME FOR GOOD

sort of vibe...but even i have a ticker where i feel it's time to end the talk. haha.

having my daddy always constantly wanting to know everything about me is the intense way of showing his love, care, protection, keeping, and sheltering that i require.

i first found the image i shared above i think when i was about....24...25....and at 37 it definately has not changed but probably only increased. haha when you know you know.