This Halloween was going to be special for me. I’m 29, I don’t have many friends I finally feel like I’m coming into myself I started going out, dancing, making friends and this year a friend invited me to a shrek themed party. I was thinking of being puss in boots. Since I started going out naturally, going out on Halloween seemed fun to me because I had never dressed up to go out. The feeling of Halloween only seemed to make me sad since I stopped trick or treating. It was a day I always looked forward to until I grew up and wasn’t able to really participate. So this year I was excited I actually found costumes I wanted to be. I started ordering things early only to be sadly disappointed that “early” was actually late and the things did I ordered didn’t fit. I was excited. It was important to me. I hadn’t been this excited since I was little. I was excited because I had lost weight, I felt good about myself, I’m 29 I won’t be this young again, 29 is a year before 30 I wanted to go out and look a little slutty. Especially because 30 just sounds so grown to me and sometimes my age makes me feel pathetic about the things that I do. So naturally when nothing fit I go into panic mode. And lo and behold I can’t order things because they won’t make it on time or they simply don’t have my size. So yes I’m very upset because it was important to me. And I’ve spoken about this with other people and I’ve heard “you’re being dramatic” or “just find other costumes” and I don’t think you understand how important this was for me.