ayan sa wakas makakapag entry na ulit ako HAHHAa

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btw hello to myself, or sa kung sino man nagbabasa netong mga entry ko sa reddit ko

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almost 2 years na nung last ako nag kwento about my life here and HAHAHA grabe its funny to see yung mga dati kong post and how i've changed and how things developed from the last time i shared my thoughts and stories in public

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since di ko sure paano isstructure ang post na ito, start muna ako dun sa mga shinare ko nung jan 18, 2022 HAHAHHA

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about the sexuality

yes i am still bi if that matters HAHAHHA as of writing this, for the past 2 years i was almost exclusively dating guys HAHAHAh siguro its the gay in me that was repressed for so long kaya wala ako masyado naentertatin na girls during this time..

pero this past week, ive been talking to girls na ulit on bumble HAHAHA im just not sure how they would react when i share that im bi and ive been dating guys before them HAHAHAHHA

atm still no plans of coming out to other members of my family hehe, mga pinsan ko pa din may alam

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about the studies

hey BITCH OMYGOD GRADWAITING NA AKO HAHAHAHAHA WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT

the ride was fucking crazy and i would never want to go throught that shitshow again

the last time i talked about how i was really feeling bad about myself academically, well nung last few major subjects ko i think i did average HAHAHA it was comforting tbh to see that peers around me had the same situation as me ganon AHHAHA

ugh pero grabe tyl im here

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future plans:

• mag review for boards

yan lang kasi HAHAHHAHAA OTHER PLANS AFTER THAT DEPENDS ON THE RESULTS

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about the relationship

OK andito na tayo sa exciting part

so ganito yan, ito ang characters of the story: si YL at si JR HAHAHA

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start muna tayo kay YL

YL was someone i met on bumble last dec 2021

nag cchristmas party kami fam non tas i subscribed to bumble premium for a week ata non kasi nauubusan ako likes AHHAHAHA he hit me up first tas siyempre si reply ako kasi nacutean ako sakanya AHAHHAA

the way our conversations went was super super idk confusing AHHAHAHA it was like mag mmessage ako isang bagsak ng madami, then after a few hours mag rreply siya isang bagsak na madami HAHAHAHHAa the times na nag abot kami to actually talk in real time was super madalang?? HAHAHAHHAAH PERO HELLO SIYEMPRE NACCUTEAN AKO SAKANYA HINAYAAN KO LANG

not until ginhost niya ako nung mar 2022 :) HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA i was the last one na nag message then siyempre si abang ako HAHAHAH tas after a few weeks of him ghosting me nakita ko na a close family relative of him passed away, PERO GURL GRABE DI NA TALAGA AKO NIREPLYAN NAKA INBOX NA LANG AKO SAKANYA HAHHAHAA

tas ayon after a few months napuna ko na lang na he unfriended me na on fb pero di niya naman ako binlock sa messenger so naoopen ko ba convos namin AHHAHA

PERO RECENTLY HAHAHAH FOR SOME REASON LUMITAW ULIT SIYA SA FEED KO coincidentally naka work siya nung isa kong mutual for a publishing company tas nakita ko sa credits nandun name niya AHHAHAHHA EDI NAGULAT AKO and inistalk ko siya tas hehe cute niya pa den AHHAHAHAHAHHAHA

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OK NEXT CHARACTER! si JR

OK HOLD ON TIGHT THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG STORY HAHAHHAHAHAHHAA

JR is a situationship that I wish I could have done more pero I cant

i met him on bumble last Nov 2022, siyempre siya una nag chat sakin tas we REALLY HIT IT OFF LIKE damn grabe HAHHAHA siya na ata ang pinaka mahabang conversation ko sa bumble HAHAHHA parang almost a month ata kami nag usap don before going to TG

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first meetup namin non nagpunta kami bar, nagpapanic ako HAHAHHA it was the first time im going out with a guy kasi AHHAHA i picked him up tas i invited din friends sana to accompany us ganon tas ayon edi nung mga bandang lasing lasing na we were super comfy and touchy na sa isat isa HAHHASHAHA ne waze ayon pero wala pa naman nangyari samin, kiniss niya lang ako sa cheek nung hinatid ko siya pauwi :3 HAHAHAH

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ayon so eventually we still talked with each other, call sa discord, play games ganon

BUT THE THING IS, I could not make it official with him kasi

1. im not out sa aking family so it would be unfair to get into a relationship with someone tapos itatago ko lang siya diba
2. im so so busy with acads and life in general?? i dont think i had the time to properly sustain a relationship, although very low maintenance naman yung whatever we had, ayoko lang maging unfair sakanya HAHAHA

so ayon, i told him na im sorry i couldnt make it official between us bec of those things and ayoko maging unfair sakanya and it was really sweet of him! ang mas nagpakilig sakin is sabi niya he would wait for me naman daw HAHAHHA wan q ba! kakaines! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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we talked to each other not romantically per se pero as friends talaga, minsan may mga landian konti ganon pero we werent the type to say things like i like you ganon ineme AHHAHA very casual lang kami with each other

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tas AYON NA NGA, ito na ang r18 part AHHAHAHHA

he was many of my sexual firsts. HAHAHA

one time we were just casually talking with each other then napunta na sa sex and shit yung topic i asked him about his experiences and i shared din na i was still a virgin and puro online shit lang nagagawa ko HAHAHA then one thing lead to another, nag check in kami sa sogo AHAHHAHA funny pa non first time namin both kaya kabadong kabado kami HAHAHHAHAHA nag drive in lang naman kami and surprisingly IT WAS SUPER CASUAL HAHAHHAHAHA PARANG DI DAPAT KAMI KINABAHAN GANON tas later that night we did it HAHAHA tinuruan niya ako talaga as in and he was so understanding sakin... from MOMOL to BJs and tips how to loosen the hole AHHAHAH BTW HE IS A TOP KAYA I HAD TO BOT FOR HIM... and shet he also gives amazing BJs HAHHAHHAHA tas the morning after nakita niya na lang na i accidentally gave him 2 big hickeys AHHAHAHAHHAHAAH SHUTA KAKATUTO LANG MAKIPAG MOMOL NAKAPAG MARKA NA AGAD

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the next time something sexual happened between us was a bit unexpected HAHAHHA i was supposed to go out with friends non tapos it has been a while since nung last na nagkita kami so sabi ko daan ako sakanya then hang out saglit before i go to my friends sa bar HAHAHA tas namisunderstand niya na isasama ko siya AHHAHAHA so ayon isinama ko siya sa bar with my friends, eh mejj low tol siya and i was getting heated up HAHAHHAHA so pag lumalabas kami to get some air we got a bit touchy HAHAHAHAH tas ayon nag momol na kami sa loob ng car and gave each other blowjobs and handjobs HAHAHHHAHAHA we didnt get to finish kasi ayaw niya daw magkalat sa car ko HAHHAHA

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then the last time we did was at my place HAHAHA i had the house all to myself for a few days so we planned ahead na he would stay over and ayon HAHHAA god it was great and i wish i could live it again AHHHAHAHA

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but after that last meetup things got busy for the both of us and hindi nag match talaga yung sched namin

when he was free, i had my OJT and was reviewing for my mock boards kaya di keri lumabas ganon

when I was free, he had school reqs to do and practicals and presentations

kaya di na kami nakakapag kita in person, the best we did was one discord call lang hahahhaa

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then after a few weeks he told me na mag mmove back na sila sa province nila and he had to settle things between us and we were better off as friends ganon kasi we couldnt handle the LDR and shit, i agreed with him naman kasi in the first place i told him nga na all i could offer at the moment was a friendship and he didnt have to stay naman ganon, nung time na yon I was actually okay with it and shit

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but after that, even though di pa sila nakakabalik sa province nila, we started talking less and less, and we didnt try to meet na or ganon

then nakikita ko na sa feed niya na may parang bago na siya, ngl i was hurt a bit nung nalaman ko may bago na siya AHAHAH pero sino ba naman ako para sumama ang loob wala naman naging kami diba HAHAHA so i just let it be

tas one day nung kachat ko siya inasar ko siya uy may bago na siya tas i urged him to talk about it AHHAHA pero he didnt budge much

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tas a few days ago, we met up kasi ibibigay ko sakanya yung towel niya na naiwan niya dito sa room ko

we had drinks and lunch sa cafe and kwentuhan lang ganon on what we have been up to recently and future plans in life shit ganon

tas eventually i asked about his new guy, edi AKO DAPAT SI NGITI LANG KASI AS A SUPPORTIVE FRIEND DAPAT HAHAHAHHAAH tas he shared na he met the guys sa grindr nung time na busy ako with my school shit HAHAHAHAHaHAHAHHAHAHA PUTANGINA I HAD TO SMILE THROUGH THAT STORY KAHIT NA UGH SHET WTF HAHAHHAHAA SINO BA NAMAN AKO PARA SUMAMA LOOB KO DIBA!! HAHHAHA tas kaloka kinukwento niya they went to the guy's place tas naka 3 rounds sila until morning???!?!? HAHAHAHHAHAHA ISA PAGDATING SA PLACE, ISA NUNG NAGISING SILA NG MIDNIGHT, TAS ISA NUNG MORNING AFTER HAHHAHAHAHA LIKE UGH BITCH WTF NAINGGIT AKO AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

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so ayon that was the end of our situationship nga HAHAHHA tas the past few days sumasama pa den loob ko pag nakikita ko stories niya with him HAHAhhahhaha KAYA IM ENTERING MY (SAFE) HOE PHASE HAHAHHAHA

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i have a few more stories to tell, mainly about life and my friends PERO i guess thats for another day HAHAHAHHA ang haba na neto masyado!

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AHHHH SUPER NAKAKA FREE TALAGA MAG KWENTO I LAVET

see u ulet hopefully next month or in a few days AHHAHA

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- Aug 21, 2023 -