UGH sorry y’all, I was going to put this out before the end of the weekend but then life happened. Be aware that these are all cleaned up and abridged versions of my notes taken during the show. I’m not a pro. If you want ACTUAL serious analysis of the first three episodes, there’s an AWESOME write-up from Gabe Dunn on Autostraddle.

PRE-WATCH: Ashmal and Rehman: I read their interview with PrideSource, and they seem sweet. I’m TOTALLY biased because they met in Michigan (Rehman’s from south of Detroit. This does come back later.) and I’m a Detroiter. As we all know, MM couples tend to get more exposure to nonmonogamy compared to heterosexual (and other MF) couples, and thus tend to fare a little better in NM. Time shall tell.

Dylan and Lauren: They seem… fine. Annoying fitness influencers who peddle supplements. I got a small amount of tea about them from r/gymsnark on my researching which is funny as hell. They’re mostly snarking over the nonmonogamy stuff (unsurprising, I’m used to it), but I did get to witness some other stuff, e.g. texting and driving and some other unprofessional behavior. They’re also expecting, though obviously likely weren’t pregnant at the time of filming… I hope. Nonetheless we all know how those sorts of nonmonogamy-and-pregnancy situations tend to shake out.

Corey and Wilder: NGL I thought that one or both of them were trans/nonbinary. They also seem very annoying-influencer-coded.

Sean and Brittne: at this point, I kinda get the feeling that I’m going to get sick of all these influencer types, huh.

The singles: boy, I sure love that we know nothing about them, except for the fact that some of them are popular on Instagram. Okay, I know that certain demographics are going to be more/less likely to apply to a show like this (more influencers, less teachers and doctors and firefighters, I get it), but come on, there has to be something interesting in here somewhere.

What I want to see: I want to see a breakup, bay-bee! I want to see a fight!! You may notice that I’m being a little extra nice in this intro but that’s because I’m trying to recognize that these are whole ass people who are not soliciting my advice, lmao.

[CONTINUED IN COMMENTS FUCK A CHARACTER LIMIT]