Just to add context: I have genital HSV1. I have had it for 6 years as a result of someone going down on me right before they had an oral outbreak. I take antivirals daily and I have not had an outbreak since the initial one 6 years ago.

With that being said: I disclose to every single person that I will be intimate with and I always use condoms for oral sex and intercourse. I have NEVER slept with anyone without disclosing beforehand and I will continue to do as such.

There was a Redditor I contacted after I saw his ad in a NY subreddit. I had disclosed my status a day or two prior and I offered to provide information and answer any questions he had. Subsequently, he reached back out to me and asked if I would be interested in going over to his place. He was aware of which part of NY I would be leaving from and that it was somewhat of a lengthy commute especially at midnight. He picked me up from the train station, took me to a bar and chatted with me for a bit just to tell me he didn’t feel comfortable sleeping with me due to my status although I’m “pretty and sweet.” I absolutely respect that. I do not take it personally when someone does not want to engage further when I disclose that I have HSV. What I DO take offense is when someone is disrespectful about it in the way that he was.

I post this as a mass disclosure to everyone before they approach me in my DM’s so I avoid interactions like this in the future. Also, to advise people to not pull shit like this person did. If you are unsure, that is fine and it makes sense. But let that person know so we do not waste our time and we are able to find other people. Finally, we are all adults. Just be honest.

Xoxo, DC