I don't remember much of the first time I was assaulted really. I was stupid online and wanted male attention, so I met up with this guy. I remember being super nervous, but he gave me edibles and had me take a shot so I mellowed out. I remember looking at a lady who watched him walk into the hotel room with me. I sat down on the edge of the bed, and he started to caress my shoulders and kiss me all over. He said he wasn't gonna do anything with me at first and just wanted to hang out and I (naively) believed it until that moment.

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I remember I had this stupidly dated outfit on. Mustard yellow longsleeve, skinny jeans and uggs. I dont remember him taking them off, but he did, and I had on a hello kitty lingerie set he bought me beneath. He started to touch me and I was terrified until I realized how wet I was. Again, I dont remember how, but then he was on top of me and he asked if I wanted to lose my virginity. I didn't know what he would do to me if I said no, so I said yes. He finished in me and, very naively, I asked if it was leaking out of me (my only experience was porn).

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The rest happened over a three day period so it's all just bits and blurs. I remember him making me say disgusting things to him, him laughing when I scraped my teeth against his junk on accident, dunking my head into bathwater, choking me out out of nowhere, sobbing when I lost my anal virginity, when he stole my first kiss from me. He would buy me milkshakes and gifts of all sorts to keep me with him. To be honest, I miss that period of my life. Thanks for reading, i do better with specific questions than storytelling so feel free to AMA. :)