Do the insane amount of fakes I've had to make some requests before messaging me:

Husbands: I'm very happy and eager to talk with you. However before texting me I require that your wife is on board, aware you are messaging me and has seen my profile. I don't do the "spontaneous" types of meets where I try to pick her up at a bar. I like everything above board, no dishonesty.

She should also know and be willing to chat and phone verify shortly after we start talking. I know most husbands vett guys for their wives and I'm very comfortable with that. But too often the "husband" wants endless chatting and the wife is either never available or he can't find the time to ask her if she's interested. So I expect that before you text me you've spoken to your wife and she knows that if we chat and we think we are a good fit that she'll be ready to chat and verify shortly after. Doesn't mean anything will happen but I need to weed out at least some of the flakes. If after chatting with me you first have to show her my pics/profile and talk to her, then we are not a good fit. She needs to know our intentions before we talk.