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I would just like to say thank you to all of you who's here with me. You made life (2023) bearable and memorable. I will be more transparent and vulnerable to all of you because talking about mental health is important.
Trigger warning >! I've been having thoughts of suicidal ideation (passive and active) and I'm spiraling down these past few months. Haven't gone to the gym, living a sedentary lifestyle 🥺. I was diagnosed of having Bipolar 2 and I'm taking up meds (they're expensive as fuck lol that's why I create more audios here and on YouTube) to stabilize my moods. It sucks having this brain cause sometimes I feel I can conquer the whole world and sometimes I just want to curl up and disappear. That's why when I say voice acting is my lifeline, I mean it. It's one of the biggest reasons (besides my loved ones) why I still continue to live. If not because of voice acting in 2021, I guess I'm not here anymore. That's why I really appreciate all of you for believing in me and my capabilities as an artist. Damn, sometimes I cant believe that I'm still here and keep on creating. When I post quotes here on my profile it's a way to soothe myself and I want to spread that positivity to all of you.!<
I am also grateful that I have this space on the internet to be able to express and embrace my sexuality. Sharing and celebrating it with other people.
To my avid listeners, supporters, OG - Y'ALL are the real MVP. Your existence means a lot to me. Y'all are a lifesaver! Even just your comments and feedbacks (except people who send me unsolicited shit lol) means a lot to me (you're not obliged to but it means a lot) cause it makes me to do better and improve as an artist. Because of your continuous support in my craft, I was able to discover more about me and my capabilities. That I can be more. More versatile, more creative, more appreciative of life. You gave me solace and safe haven in this corner of the internet and I am so so so so grateful of that (I'm crying as I'm writing this).
I never thought that I can have 13k people on here, 13k on YouTube, 72k on Twitter, and 1600 on Patreon that believes in me ðŸ˜. I swear, I'm fucking insecure of my voice back then and I thought no one would ever want to listen to me. Hell, even when it comes to recitation I don't speak or participate cause I thought no one would like to hear my thoughts and my ideas. Y'all taught me to believe in myself more. I love you all so so so much. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for inspiring me to be better, to create more, and to live more and longer. I promise to myself and to all of you that I will break my limits this year and discover and perform better. I'm excited to create more audios 🥰
I guess I'll keep going haha and see what's the universe has in store for me. And I'm glad that I'll be with you all to discover that.
2023 is a roller coaster ride. There are lots of ups and downs. I swear I cried a lot this year compared to 2022 and 2021 lol but here we are, still standing up and stronger than ever. But please, please, please, always remember to take care of yourself (note to self lol) okay? May 2024 be gentle and good to all of us fingers crossed.
With gratitude,
malaya ✨
ps if I won't be able to post anymore, iykyk ASSFGHJKL dark joke I'm sorry ðŸ˜ðŸ˜†
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