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AIW for refusing to help friend even though I am capable?
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My friend is a single mom of two kids and work and live about 5 miles from her house. I’ve been helping her transition into being a single mom from her recent divorce but it has recently become overbearing and I’ve tried to say no to her more often to distance myself and make her less reliant on my help. Just last night, she texts me and asks if I could go get her and her kids some food since they were hungry and they had all showered and didn’t want to leave the house that late. I said no and told them to order through postmates.

This morning she calls me and asks me what time I take my lunch. I tell her around 12 pm and she asks if I could run an errand for her at my lunch and go pick up her kids and drop them off at her mom’s house. I tell her no cause I’m taking a 30 minute lunch.

“I thought you get an hour lunch? That’s more than enough time to pick them up and drop them off.” She argues.

“I take a 30 minute lunch so I can go home 30 minutes early.” I reply.

“But it won’t hurt you this once today to go home 30 minutes later.”

“I switched up my schedule and now I’m only given 30 minutes for lunch.” I lie.

“Bullshit. I only get 30 minutes. Not like you who gets an hour but chooses to only take 30 minutes. I don’t get it. Why won’t you help?” She asks.

“Cause I don’t want to. It shouldn’t matter what reason I give you.” I reply.

“But I need your help and you’re capable of helping but you’re refusing now? Why be such an ass?”

“I mean if you’re going to call me an ass for not wanting to help you then I don’t know what else to tell you. Whether I get 30 minutes or an hour for lunch, you are not entitled to my time and-“ she hangs up the phone as I’m speaking.

“I don’t have time for your lecture. You can help but refuse even though it would be no problem for you. That’s fucked up.” She texts back.

“You’re being very entitled right now and I don’t think it’s cool to expect your friend to help even if they can. Just cause my uncle has $1,000,000 does not mean he has to pay off my car loan.” I text back.

“Whatever. You’ve changed. You no longer want to help me. You want to make me beg you. Fine be that way. I’ll ruin your life. I’ll go to your house and job and make a scene and tell them how you’re faking your disability” she texts back. I am a us army veteran that’s partial disabled from my service and since I’m not missing a leg or in a wheelchair, she thinks she can get me arrested for fraud.

I haven’t answered her since but I think she’s bluffing and blowing this way out of proportion. But am I wrong for refusing to help her even though I’m not than capable? I keep second guessing myself here so I feel conflicted.

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Posted
5 months ago