I made a horrible mistake today, was careless with a woman's feelings and I insulted her. I basically called her a whore, even though it was (in my head) supposed to be a fun flirty message. When I think about why I thought this message would be fun and flirty instead of offensive and completely rude, it comes back to porn and to this website. I had a long history of posting in other parts of reddit, like misogyny subs and degrading subs, looking for women with low self esteem to satisfy my addiction to pleasure. For whatever reason, the women in those places love to be insulted, and I learned to love doing it. I now see those places as totally wrong. Not trying to kink shame if that's anyone's thing, I think there are probably safer ways of participating in that kink though.

Fast forward to today, flirting with a really beautiful and inspiring and intelligent woman. She sends me a sexy pic, I say "How many other guys have you sent this to?" My brain got so poisoned with those ideas from misogynistic reddit places that I actually thought that line would be flirty. I couldn't separate my latent sexist ideals while talking to a real life woman. What the fuck. She didn't give any indication she was into that type of kink, she didn't say she wanted me to talk like that to her. My porn-rotted brain just thought she'd be down, when realistically, no self-respecting woman wants to be talked to like that.

This is why I'm doing NoFap. I'm in it to stop hurting those around me with my porn/sex addiction. I want to make the people around me feel better about themselves, inspire them to live better lives. Lately all I've done is drag the people down around me. That's why I'm going to stick it through and commit this time. No peeking, no excuses!

Sorry for hurting you, A. You're not a whore, I'm actually the one with the problem.