Well hello there stranger. Hopefully by the end of this post, I'll be less of a stranger to you while you maintain your mysterious air. Enjoy this parasocial relationship!

What's your deal?

Step right up ladies and gentleman, I'm offering not one, not two, but THREE dad jokes for the price of one exhausted sigh. I'll even throw in a knee slap for an eye roll!

My deal is that I'm a passionate and ambitious guy who wants yet another creative and sexual outlet. I've got a lot of love and lust to give but no one to give it to. So all of you horny internet people get it for free!

What are your hobbies outside of posting sexy audios?

I'm a poledancing firedancer. Or maybe a firedancing poledancer, I can't decide which sounds better. Let me know in the comments.

I love poledancing because it is amazing exercise, tons of fun, and how else am I supposed to pay off my student loans? Through the degree I've worked so hard for? Stop being ridiculous and start slipping singles in my g string

Firedancing is special to me, because it requires so much control, precision, and artistry. Whereas I can just jump on a pole and do stuff, I need to be deliberate and controlled with the fire. Plus it's a great party trick

I love Dungeons and Dragons, as a player and Dungeon Master. It's an amazing creative outlet, a social activity, and.a game! All in one!

Past that, gaming and pool

What are your kinks/sexy interests you big sexy man?

I'm a pretty vanilla guy, I think. My community college friends were part of a 9 person sex cult and I did go to some of their orgies, and they did bring their box of sex toys to class, so I think my gauge for vanilla is broken.

Regardless, I'm into gentle domination. I have absolutely no desire to slap or whip someone. However, pinning someone down while I tell them I know how empty they feel, and they would feel my throbbing cock deep inside of them if they had decided to be a good girl earlier and it's their fault they're empty, is totally on the table. Possibly literally

I like denial a lot. Getting them close to the edge and backing off, or just not fucking or stimulating them as I turn them on. I'm also really into being gentle and loving. My ultimate fantasy is to stay in bed with someone I fully love and trust and just fuck softly all day. While I've had 2 girlfriends, a FWB, and 6 ONS, I've never had that

What else should I know about you?

Honestly, you probably should know less about me 😅

I don't know, ask whatever questions you have in the comments. I'll answer them when i get to them. I'm an open book, with the exception of stuff that would out my secret identity

Because I don't need work knowing I'm a horny pervert. They already think I'm weirdly cheerful