Today I start a journey that I am not familiar with, one where I let go of the past. I know deep down I am not very good at good byes. I never imagined I would be saying good bye to this man, the man who would become what I believed to be the man I dreamed of since I was a kid. I might be hurting now, I might hold resentment, I might be feeling my heart break once again. I might be at one of the lowest places I have ever been. However I know I am much stronger than I know. I regret hurting you all the ways I have. I wish I could have been the friend you wanted vs the friends I wanted to be. I wish I could have been everything you wanted but the truth is I could not be that. I think of you most of the time but it's getting less and less as the days go by. I surrender to you and your will. They say if you love someone enough you can let them go. However that is much harder than one might think. I am not going to mention your name but it is somewhere in the post, consider it a puzzle. I hope that I can keep moving forward but I make no promises. I might have days where I fall down and find myself looking for you and hours where I start to fight with myself in the mirror. In case you were wondering I have stayed in my bed most of the last few days crying, begging, pleading and praying. You may never forgive me and I accept that today. However as someone who loved you and still does I will not hurt you further. I will never forget you, even if I get forgetful you are the one memory I want to keep. I am sorry for everything and I do wish you well just be kind to yourself. If you ever want to be friends or reconnect I am sure you can find me. Until then may our pasts not dictate our futures as separate as they could be. From the bottom of my heart I am sorry that I loved you and still do and always will. I am going to miss you but I will be alright and so will you. I will forever remember your messy hair and half crooked smile. Never stop smiling please.