Kinda long story but we met on Reddit and she was supportive. I didn’t reach out at first since I’ve had a lot of bad experiences with partnered open relationships. We hang out and hit it right off. He was surprised how emotionally aware I was and never knew guys could be that way. We had a great chat, fooled around, and he went home giddy and messaging me every day.

The gf was originally supportive but is getting insecure. She’s always had him to herself and suddenly isn’t use to sharing him or having someone else capture his attention. They met during covid and so it seems she’s used to having him focused on her only. We talk about it, I tell him to try to see things from her perspective and try to feel how she’s feeling. Our second hang out, he seemed super distracted and always messaging her worried he would upset her. She’s suppose to be hanging out with a friend that night we were chilling and chowing. That night he went home, she got super upset we fooled around again. The suddenly supportive gf was not supportive anymore and my bro talked about whether they would stay together or if this may affect them forever. Here’s where things change. He’s telling me he needs to back off and chill for a bit. Make sure she’s cool. He spends a whole weekend with her and his kids (from first marriage) and sparingly communicates. He’s continuing to say things need to be taken slow etc and that we can still hang but it’ll have to be more sparse.

Come after the weekend, he changes tune and I get this long message about how he needs to have someone who is fully welcome of his gf in every way and that he’s really happy with her and we need boundaries. We’ve only done whatever he’s said is ok to do and hung out a total of 4 hours. I’m not sure what boundaries we broke. I’ve always asked how she was feeling and super careful to not rock the boat. Suddenly it feels like I had been accused of doing things that crossed the line or didn’t accept her. I felt pretty gaslighted since I was the one being careful and considerate of her feelings and the last message made it seem like I was the one trying to push her out. So I definitely thought I was the scapegoat for all things wrong in their relationship because some people were genuinely dishonest during their “chat”. I think this pretty fucked up and frankly told him I couldn’t put up with the drama. Kinda of why I didn’t reach out to begin with. Well we get into it and he says he’s “dealt with this kind of behavior before” and that I’m the one who is being dramatic. I had a lot of words to say feeling pushed and tossed out more or less at his leisure. We’ve blocked each other and he’s off to find the buddy he’s never had again. Honestly, he doesn’t deserve one.

This is a mess and I don’t think I want to connect with open relationship bros again. It’s never ended well. Every time I’ve gone against my better judgement, it’s ended poorly.