We'll meet via witty and charming messages. We might swap phone numbers and spend a week or two continuing the banter before you'll ask me why I haven't yet invited you for coffee or a drink. I'll oblige, and we'll meet and chat, perhaps kissing at the end of our date. You'll find me handsome, innocuous, and possibly feel a spark between us. You can't put your finger on it, but you'll want to see me again.

Nice to meet you. I'm Mr. Good-enough-for-now. You'll date me for 18 months to three years. You've dated bad, careless men in your past. Or perhaps I'll be your first "big girl" relationship. Think of me as a practice round. Sparring. I'm not the main event, but what you learn with me will get you ready for it. What I'm lacking will teach you what you need from the next guy.

You're studying for an advanced degree. Starting a business. Recovering after a divorce. Rising the ranks within your company. Exploring a dream job. You're busy, driven, and don't need the drama that can come with so many men. That's me.

I'm very low maintenance. I enjoy doting over the woman in my life (cooking, listening when she comes home, being a "side-kick") you'll appreciate this, as I don't get in your way. I'll seldom-to-never be demanding of your time, but am one to drop what I'm doing when you do need attention or company.

We'll share "I love you" and a bed

Your friends will like me, as will your family. They'll compliment you on me when you bring me home to meet them, or for a holiday. I'm intelligent and charming enough to hold my own in a conversation, and clean up nicely enough for a wedding or work event.

We'll discuss a future between us that will never come to pass. You'll hint about what you'd like a ring to look like, or tell me which friend to talk about it with when I'm ready. Even at this point, you know I'm not the one, but part of you wants it badly enough, and thinks that if a guy is nice enough, it can work.

You already have doubts, but you push them aside. You'll notice that a compliment, or small trinket given will make me uncomfortable. That while I have a decent job, I'm not terribly ambitious at it. I'm not pursuing a dream, like you are. I'm there, steady, and you question if that's enough. It's not.

Your friends like me, but as you voice doubts, they will too. They'll say things like "he's sweet, but..." Or "is he really 'the one'?" And you already know the answer to that. I'm not. I haven't been from the start. I was good for you at the moment, for a while, even; but was never meant to be your forever.

You'll break up with me. Maybe to pursue a career. Or a dream. Or maybe you've met someone else. That is ok. I've known this would come. I'm that guy. I'll take it hard, send you a few desperate, sad emails. Then I'll slowly move on.

Months or years later, you might reach out to wish me a happy birthday, or update me on a pet or job. Maybe you're now expecting a child, or getting married, or that you've finally reached your dream. I'll always welcome these communications, and I'll be happy for you when you reach your goals. I'm glad to have been a part of your life for the limited time I was.

Let me know if you need someone like this in your life.