Welcome. If you're reading this then presumably you're seeking additional details about me as a prospective romantic partner. That's great! I hope you find what you're looking for. To make that easier I've divided this thing up into sections because, let's face it: it's really freaking long. Seriously, I wrote shorter papers in grad school. So feel free to read only the parts you find personally relevant; I promise I won't be offended if you skip or skim.

Okay, here we go.

What I'm like
I could probably describe myself as a quiet intellectual with a spicy streak. I am thoughtful, reflective, and calm even during the most exigent circumstances. Truthfully, I have not even raised my voice at another person since 2016. I listen with intention, and regularly surprise people with my patience and empathy. Still, I transition seamlessly to directing and assertive when I feel the situation requires it. My Myers-Briggs type is INTJ, if that's important to you. Despite all of that, I can be very animated and playful around people I trust, and I have a strong sense of humor. My love languages are acts of service and physical touch.

I am totally non-religious, omnivorous, and politically progressive. I am extremely open-minded and take a nuanced approach to virtually all interpersonal and societal issues. I have zero tolerance for prejudices, in any direction. I do not smoke or use drugs of any kind, and never drink to excess. I keep myself fit; in fact I detest being even slightly overweight. Needless to say, I am very self-disciplined.

This is what I look like. The beard is mainly a winter accessory and is entirely negotiable. I'm bit taller than average with a handful of tattoos. My usual aesthetic falls somewhere on a line between REI and lumberjack, with minimal flash or flair. I wear a lot of darker colors, black, and earthy tones, except when I'm dressing for the office.

Regarding children
Though it feels a little disjointed, I put this section near the top because it is such a key issue for most of us. So let's just get it out of the way, yeah?

First, I have had a vasectomy. Future younglings are not in the cards here. I do have one adult daughter, currently going to college out of state. She is a brilliant and remarkable human being, and very independent. I am fine with you having kids from previous relationships, as well.

Professional life
I have a Master’s in organizational learning and development, and an ABD in business psychology, with a very strong interest in social psychology. I'm an expert in talent development, organizational behavior, leadership, personality assessment, and team dynamics. I have taken additional steps to extend this expertise into interpersonal relationships, as well.

I have a unique job at a pretty unique workplace. I get to problem-solve, make autonomous decisions, lead a professional team, and coach people all day long. It's challenging, and it's dynamic, and I find it very fulfilling. But as much as I enjoy it, I still plan to walk away from it all in a year or so. More on that later.

What I like to do
Quiet, intimate settings have always been my favorite. Let’s put together a charcuterie board, pour some wine, and talk about our week. Or maybe we’ll play a game together – any kind of game, because I love most of them – take a break to cook something we’ve never made before, and then go back to our game afterward. I love morning hikes with the dogs followed by brunch. I have always wanted to take up kayaking, too. I also thoroughly enjoy museums, national parks, historical sites, theater, and quiet bars with private corners. I try to engage with nature, history, and art as frequently and as intimately as life allows.

I endeavor to build my life around the tenets of learning, personal growth, harmony, and contentment. This means I focus on activities that bring me closer to these goals. I value nature over urban areas, experiences over things, and quality time over overtime. I have little interest in the trappings of wealth, but I place a great deal of value on being able to spend a lazy Sunday morning in bed with my partner. Do not mistake my approach for slovenliness, however; that is not at all who I am.

What I am looking for
A monogamous relationship with a partner. A woman who brings her own mind, her own strengths, her own contributions into this relationship that we will build. Someone who is able to keep up with me in every way, who is supportive when I need it and pushes me to be better when I need that. Someone who wants to join me in the nerdy, artsy, outdoorsy, and sometimes spontaneous things that I just described. And the spicier things I'm about to describe.

To the outside observer, and even at home on an average Tuesday, we might appear perfectly vanilla. But what goes on in private will be more layered, more epicurean, than anyone else might suspect. As kinks tend to be mercurial I won't waste space here attempting to elucidate mine. I do tend toward dominance and sensualism, though I am a strong believer that specific kink dynamics should always be tailored to the relationship. As it evolves, so will we.

Communication
This one is particularly important, I think. Relationships are hard work, and I believe in putting in that work. One of the things I have seen consistently in online dating and long-distance relationships is that people are very quick to give up as soon as things get difficult, or even less interesting. People break things off - or ghost each other - much faster in these types of relationships than they would in any in-person relationship. I've been guilty of it, too.

One of the outcomes of my education and career is that I have learned a lot about how to establish and maintain strong relationships - personal or professional - with people virtually. I was even asked to write a chapter about it for a graduate level textbook. You can expect me to use that knowledge to build and improve on our communication. That means regular voice calls, a lot of texting (or Discord, Wire, Telegram, whatever), and plans to meet in person regularly. It means actually talking things out when disagreements and misunderstandings arise. It means putting in effort, and probably a little vulnerability here and there.

Future plans
I mentioned above that I am planning to leave my career within the next couple of years. When that happens I also plan to leave the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex for someplace... better. Someplace with more nature and less concrete. Somewhere I can enjoy doing things that actually make me happy, complete with trees and mountains and water, starry skies, and furry woodland creatures. Or maybe sand and salt water. But also places where I can still indulge in culture, and where an airport is at least within reach. I have a few such places already picked out, but I'm always open to suggestions. My goal is to build a life that is more peaceful, slower-paced, and intimate than anything I have ever found in major urban areas.

What I would like in a partner
I am deeply attracted to intelligence and creativity. Advanced degrees are sexy, but by no means a requirement. A growth mindset is, however. Ideally still as possessed of a sense of wonder as I am. Physically active. Non-smoker. Beyond that I have no other requirements or preferences. The length of your hair, color of your skin, age (within reason, please - I'm not looking to date my daughter's friends here), height, anxiety or ADHD, etc… these things just aren't big factors for me. I also don't care where you live now, as long as we can make something work, and bearing in mind that one or both of us may need to relocate someday.

If after reading all of that you are feeling inspired to initiate a conversation, then I look forward to hearing from you. Tell me something interesting about yourself. Include a photo or two (or however many you like, really). Let's talk.