Welcome. If you're reading this then presumably you're seeking additional details about me as a prospective romantic partner. That's great! I hope you find what you're looking for. To make that easier I've divided this thing up into sections because, let's face it: it's really freaking long. Seriously, I wrote shorter papers in grad school.

Okay, here we go...

What I'm like
I could probably describe myself as a quiet intellectual with a spicy streak. I am thoughtful, reflective, and calm even during the most exigent circumstances. Truthfully, I have not even raised my voice since 2016. I listen with intention, and regularly surprise people with my patience and empathy. Still, I transition seamlessly to directing and assertive when I feel the situation requires it. I also have a dry, sardonic sense of humor. My Myers-Briggs type is INTJ, if that's important to you. Despite all of that, I can be very animated and playful around people I trust. My love languages are physical touch and acts of service.

I am totally non-religious, omnivorous, and politically progressive. I am extremely open-minded and take a nuanced approach to virtually all interpersonal and societal issues. I have zero tolerance for prejudice of any kind, in any direction. A dog person. I do not smoke or use drugs of any kind, and never drink to excess. I generally keep myself fit; in fact I detest being even slightly overweight. Needless to say, I am very self-disciplined.

This is what I look like. The beard is mainly a winter accessory and is entirely negotiable. I'm 5'10" with a handful of tattoos. My usual aesthetic falls somewhere on a line between REI and lumberjack, but with just a hint of edge. I wear a lot of darker colors, black, and earthy tones, except when I'm dressing for the office.

Regarding children
Though it feels a little disjointed, I put this section near the top because I find it contains deal-breakers for a lot of women. So let's just get it out of the way, yeah?

First, I have had a vasectomy, so future younglings are not in the cards here. I do have a 19 year old daughter, currently going to college out of state. She is a brilliant and remarkable human being, and very independent. I raised her as a single father from the time she was 14, so she is very much a part of my life even though she is rarely physically present anymore. I am fine with you having kids from previous relationships, as well.

Professional life
I have a unique job at a bleeding edge manufacturing facility that is one of the most unique workplaces on Earth. We do things there that quite literally no one else does, anywhere. I get to problem-solve, make decisions, lead a team, and coach people all day long, and no two days are ever the same. It's challenging, and it's cool, and I find it very fulfilling. But as much as I enjoy it, I still plan to walk away from it all late next year. More on that later.

I have a Master’s and an ABD in business psychology, with a very strong interest in social psychology. I'm an expert in talent development, personality assessment, organizational behavior, leadership, and team dynamics. I have taken additional steps to extend this expertise into interpersonal relationships, as well.

What I like to do
Quiet, intimate settings have always been my favorite. Let’s put together a charcuterie board, pour some wine, and watch a movie. Or maybe we’ll play a game together – any kind of game, because I love most of them – take a break to cook something we’ve never tried before, and then go back to our game afterward. I love morning hikes with the dogs followed by a big breakfast. And yes, I actually genuinely enjoy hiking. I have always wanted to take up kayaking, too. I also thoroughly enjoy museums, national parks, historical sites, theater, and funky local coffee shops. These are things I would do to the exclusion of almost all else, if I could. I try to engage with nature, history, and art as frequently and as intimately as life allows.

I endeavor to build my life around the tenets of harmony, learning, personal growth, and happiness. This means I focus on activities that bring me closer to these goals. I value nature over urban areas, experiences over things, and quality time over overtime. I have little interest in luxury cars, swimming pools, or fancy parties, but I place a great deal of value on being able to spend a lazy Sunday morning in bed with my partner.

What I am looking for
A partner. A woman who brings her own mind, her own strengths, her own contributions into this relationship that we will build. Someone who is able to keep up with me in every way, who is supportive when I need it and pushes me to be better when I need that. Someone who wants to join me in the nerdy, artsy, outdoorsy, and sometimes spontaneous things that I just described. And the spicier things I'm about to describe.

Lifestyles, sex, and kink
As valuable as my vanilla relationship experience has been, there was always something missing. I need the pleasure, the pain, the physicality, and the purpose that can only be found in a kink dynamic. I need the intensity, the outlet, and the trust.

By default, I operate as a gentle or Daddy Dom (though I'm actually not fond of the term Daddy) with heavy sensualist tendencies and a sadistic streak. I am mostly kind and gentle in my approach. This is my starting point. An unexpected benefit of my education is that it has left me with the capacity, the flexibility, to support a broad range of dynamics in the D/s category, however. For partners - or situations - that require it I can be sterner and more directive. I can and will create structure and rules as needed. I will take as much power and control from you as you would like me to have. For those who desire it, I can readily flex to cruel, physically rough, and even manipulative. I also do extremely well with partners who have bratty tendencies.

In light of all the above, I strongly believe that kink dynamics are something that develop and evolve over time. These things don't just happen overnight. Trust is critical. In the interim I enjoy the process of experimenting and exploring. If there are specific kinks that are meaningful to you, we will absolutely work with them. My hard limits are age regression, wife sharing, bathroom activities, blood, and anything that might do permanent damage. Anything else is, at minimum, on the table.

I will also take this opportunity to point out that I take my kink education very seriously. I read books, I actively participate on Fet, I go to munches and educational events. I believe in the use of negotiation and contracts where appropriate. In short, I am not just playing at being a Dom.

I do prefer a very active sex life. I am aware that a lot of men say this, and that most of those who do have only average libidos, at best. They may start strong, but fade once the new relationship energy has worn off. That is not the case here. You will be well used, for years to come.

Communication
This one is particularly important, I think. Relationships are hard work, and I believe in putting in that work. One of the things I have seen consistently in online dating and long-distance relationships is that people are very quick to give up as soon as things get difficult, or even less interesting. People break things off - or ghost each other - much faster in these types of relationships than they would in any in-person relationship. I've been guilty of it, too.

One of the other benefits of my education and career is that I know a very great deal about how to establish and maintain close relationships - personal or professional - with people virtually. I was even asked to write a book chapter about it once. You can expect me to use that knowledge in order to build and improve on our communication. That means frequent voice calls, a lot of texting (or Discord, Wire, Telegram, whatever), and plans to meet in person regularly. It means actually talking things out when disagreements arise. It means putting in effort and probably a little vulnerability here and there.

Future plans
I mentioned above that I am planning to leave my career within the next couple of years. When that happens I also plan to leave the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex for someplace with more nature and less concrete. Somewhere I can enjoy doing things that actually make me happy, complete with trees and mountains and water, starry skies and furry woodland creatures. I have a few such places already picked out, but I'm always open to suggestions. My goal is to build a life that is more peaceful, slower-paced, and intimate than anything I have ever found in major urban areas.

What I would like in a partner
I am deeply attracted to intelligence and creativity. Advanced degrees are sexy, but by no means a requirement. A growth mindset is, however. Ideally still as possessed of a sense of wonder as I am. Physically active. Non-smoker. Beyond that I have no other requirements or preferences. The length of your hair, color of your skin, age (within reason - I'm not looking to date my daughter's friends), height, anxiety or CPTSD, ADHD, etc… these things just aren't big factors for me. I also don't care where you live now, as long as we can make something work, and bearing in mind that one or both of us may need to relocate someday.

If after reading all of that you are feeling inspired to initiate a conversation, then I look forward to hearing from you. Tell me something interesting about yourself. Include a photo or two (or however many you like, really). Let's talk.