The moral of the story is - yes keep your guard up, opsec and all of that, but be ready to find the person you’re looking for, otherwise you may miss the chance.

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I (MM) have posted ads and responded to ads on r/affairs for longer than I care to remember. There was an allure, and a hopefulness even though it always seemed futile at the same time. The loneliness in my marriage, the desire for an emotional connection with someone, and reading stories on r/adultery kept me coming back.

Recently, I posted an ad. After several hours of responses from women half my age or those looking for something totally different than what my post said, I took it down.

A few hours later, someone followed my profile. I messaged that person. We struck up a conversation. It was a woman whose friend recommended that she read my ad but by the time she clicked the link I had taken it down. So she followed me.

Over the next few days we messaged almost constantly…some flirty, some serious…. Exchanged photos… almost explosive mutual attraction…

We agreed to meet.

This is where I screwed up. I started questioning whether she was too good to be true. My mind kept circling… What are the chances this is real? This must be a setup….To catch a Cheater? Or this must be carfishing I told myself. I got myself worked up to the point that my nervousness was palpable.

When we finally met in person she was everything she said she was and more. Beautiful, sexy, smart, confident. Everything I’m looking for. I was so nervous thinking it couldn’t be real and then so shocked when she actually was real that I completely choked and came across as an unconfident fool. We all know how unsexy that is.

I screwed up. The emotions I’m feeling now I haven’t felt in probably 20 years.