Good news and bad news. Good news is that my bike is fixed. Yay! Now I can calmly ride my bike to and from my home high school. Bad news: the state of American politics is going to shit because of our new president and his ability to not know a single thing it takes to run a country with people that aren't racist misogynists; so that's happening now. I would've written this down earlier, but with all of somewhat progressive society protesting, crying, a mixture of both, and not doing anything but acting like people on the internet, I totally forgot.

That brings me to the self-deprecation portion of this journal entry. People tell me that I'm talented, special, and smart, then I do something that shows me that my flaws have the potential to fuck up someone else's life. I'm clumsy and unattentive. Yesterday, I realized I lost my mother's credit card by dropping it in the car. I searched a solid hour for that card. I looked in my pants and jacket pockets, my desk, my shoes, my sheets. I flipped both mattresses to look under my bed for that thing and I realized that I suck at keeping other people's stuff. I'm unreliable and my demeanor puts the air that I don't care; as evidence that my mom yelled at me once again for not caring enough to make sure I didn't drop the card in the first place. Usually, I don't care, but Mom doesn't know that I did not stop searching for the card until she came back home. From the time she called me to then, I thought of where the card might be to the point of nervously sweating and almost having a nervous breakdown as it dawned on me that I quite possibly fucked our lives with this accident. I paced, sat, and thought about what I did. If someone saw me at that point, I looked like a nervous wreck on the verge of being schizophrenic. I didn't tell Mom this as it might insincere and fake, so I went into my listening mode where I don't say anything because I'm listening to what they have to say. I may forget some or all of that conversation later, and that's my fault, but at that point, I'm listening. I honestly think that there is something wrong with my brain, whether it be a mental disorder such as depression or sociopathy, or an injury such as a slight concussion. Something is wrong with me. I just don't know what's wrong. It might be nothing for all I know and I should know a little. I am a self-proclaimed depressed, egotistical, cynical, 16-year-old teenager with no empathy. What would I know?