(door opens, shuts, sound of keys)

Hey honey! I was starting to wonder where you w- Hold on ... Have you been crying? Why are you carrying a ... box? Aw, babe... Come here. Tell me what's wrong. In your own time.

Oh, shit. He laid you off!? What the fuck? Everyone else in your division does jack-shit, why the hell would he-

I-I'm sorry, babe. You know I try and rationalize everything, even when it shouldn't be happening. Like this. You're so good at what you do, don't let this jerk boss of yours make you feel like anything less than what I know you are.

No. No. You're wonderful. I love you. And I'm going to cuddle you, and make you feel loved, and this apartment is going to be your personal palace until you're ready to go back out there. No bad vibes in here tonight.

We'll do that later; it's low urgency. You. Are priority number one. We're setting aside the whole weekend to build you back up. Starting now. Operation: Snugglebuds. (laugh) Aw. See. You can still smile, even now, sunshine.

Yeah. We'll stay in if you want. Okay. Hope you like soup. … Cause you know I'm bad at everything else. (laugh) And I don't think you want scrambled eggs.

Get over here on the couch and cuddle, or I'm coming over to the chair, and I'm going to curl up on your lap like a big dog and maybe crush you. Yes, good move, couch is better.

Aw. I love it when you snuggle your face into my chest like that. Just burrow in, hon. Makes it really easy for me to kiss (kiss) the top of your head. (inhale) Your hair always smells really good. And it's so soft, too.

Yeah. I always play with your hair, I know. Can you blame me, though? It's just so cute. And underneath your hair, under your skull, is my favorite mind in the world. Yes. Absolute number one brain. (kiss) You have such beautiful thoughts.

You're a treasure. Ooh. Coming up to kiss me? (fake suprise) O-on th-the lips? (giggle, kiss) Don't mind if I do. (several kisses) I like your nose, too. You're still a little raw from crying, hon. (kiss) I'll always be here to kiss your tears away. And snuggle up with you.

I love these moments when you're on top of me. (laugh) Shut up! I'm trying to be wholesome here! I love that shit, too, but work with me here. I-I-Hey! I'm comforting you in your time of need, ma'am! O-okay. Fine. Because I'm your good supportive partner, I'll let you call me... A cuddleslut. (laugh)

Don't call me a good boy! Not now! I'm the one who's supposed to be the caregiver right now. You're screwing with my mission. What mission? Operation: Snugglebuds of course! Lay down. On my chest. And don't switch our roles. … Yet.

Here, can you pass me the blanket? Just behind you, by your legs. (blanket noises) Now, it's an undercover operation. (light slap sound)

That was bad. I deserved that. I'm sorry. Not sorry. I thought it was great. (light slap sound) Well if it gets you to smile you can keep giving me those little wimpy slaps all night long. And I'll keep making awful puns. It's your secret kink, isn't it. (laugh) Oooh. Oh. What- Are you giving me a hickey? ... Shit, you did! Well, I'm giving you one too, then!

(blanket noises) You can't get away! (teasing) I've got my arms wrapped around you baby, and I'm not letting go! (hickey sounds) There! Now we match. And everyone will know we belong to each other. Except these will probably fade before the weekends over anyway.

(mischieveous) Maybe we should go outside especially just to show off our love-bites. See who notices. Maybe we should just keep giving each other love-bites all the time. … “There they go,” the people will say, “That same couple. Either they're kinky as fuck, or they have a terrible skin disease.” No, I don't want people to think you're a lepper, either. I think that's the least I owe you. … So I'll just have to tell everyone that my lover has my marks all over her body. That we belong to each other.

Yeah, everyone. (growl a little bit) (more blanket rustling, more hickey noises) Because you're mine. And I'm yours. And I'm never letting go. (kiss) Metaphorically speaking.

I love feeling your weight and your warmth on top of me. It makes me feel so connected to you. I'm literally supporting you. (laugh)

Yeah, it is getting a bit toasty. Blanket might have been a bad idea for, well, what I'm going to do next.

(NSFW BEGINS)

Well, if I look between your legs, it's pretty clear that someone's gotten a little worked up... Maybe I can take care of that, too?

(improvise oral sex to orgasm, make noise, but don't talk too much, there's more important stuff to do with your mouth)

Ohhh. That was wonderful, babe. I think you liked it too based on how much you guivered through the whole thing. I'm going to leave a little love-bite right here, near your knee. Maybe I can walk you around in some shorts and see who notices? (laugh)

(sigh) Even when I'm trying to be all assertive and strong, I still end up on my knees for you, don't I? Not that I'm complaining. I love having my head in your lap while you play with my hair. I'm going to … uh... have to punish you for making me all flustered like this.

(NSFW ENDS)

Look. I'm just looking for a segue to a moment that involves carrying you off to bed like a fucking hero and then bringing you some hot dinner. Even though I'm really tired, too. Here goes. (grunt, walking noise, sheets rustling) There you go, back down on our bed. Thanks for letting me have that moment. I love you so much, honey. No matter what. I'll be here. Your cuddleslut. ... I'll be back with food. (fade out, footsteps)

END

• a thorgasmic production, march MMXX