(This is a NSFW post, please don't read if it's not appropriate for you.)

FAQ:

Q: So you really train woman?

Yes, going back to high school, and at this point I’ve trained every woman in every significant relationship that I’ve had. I’ve always had a lot of intellectual confidence and self-awareness and I know exactly what I need from women and also know how to push their buttons.

After I got divorced (start of 2023), I got into BDSM dating and learned that there are a lot of women on reddit who are interested in being trained, so that’s what I do now.

Q: Why would a woman want to be a pleasure slave?

The appeal is in being dominated and controlled, and then made to feel attractive and confident. And being able to satisfy a man properly and give him attention and appreciation is a skill that most women don’t have.

Q: What’s your technique?

My goal is to train a woman to show her attention and appreciation through sexual responsiveness, and I do this by establishing dominance and control and keeping her stimulated and edged. In that state she is exceptionally responsive and everything is heightened.

Along with the training there is also a free use / CNC teacher-student dynamic where I can use the woman as needed / desired. We need this especially at the beginning since the woman isn’t trained yet - it helps establish the initial bond and maintain dominance.

Kink list: Sex slave, Dominance, Edging, Light bondage, Spanking, Nipple play, Orgasm denial, Forced orgasm, “Servicing” (providing oral sex and pussy on demand) , Unpredictability, Female masturbation, Free Use / Rough / CNC, Cum inside, Affection / Aftercare

Q: What are you like? What’s your type?

I have a difficult time evaluating myself physically - I think it’s easier to exchange photos and see if we’re compatible. I don’t expect physical perfection from women either. I also find intelligence sexy, and I think women do to. I'm a "giftie", if you know what that is. I've worked in tech management and I'm also a writer and a parent of a teen.

People also ask if I'm "healthy", by which they mean a few things whcih I'll go ahead and answer - yes I work out (lift weights), yes I can perform sexually (take daily cialis) and yes I get tested when I need to, which isn't often (I stick with low risk people).

Q: Are you a misogynist?

Not at all, I think women are incredible and subs in particular are truly special people that deserve love & affection. But I also think that men and women need certain things from each other, and the way I look at it, I could either wait three days or three weeks for my partner to get in the mood or I can just push her there myself in three minutes, and she’ll actually enjoy the experience more. I think women are also stronger and tougher than people give them credit for and need some intensity.

Q: What’s a first session like?

I can get a woman desperate to fuck in about five minutes, but before that there are a couple of games that I like to play to get used to each other physically and get the mind engaged. I also like to see how a woman masturbates, because everyone is different. I also want to see where her limits are in terms of pain, and give her a few commands to learn. It’s sort of like a first day of school - getting to know each other rather than learning as much as possible.

If I do fuck in the first session, it will almost always be free use / CNC, and that’s because the woman isn’t trained yet and I’m at the point where I do need either trained or “pushed” pussy to get me off. An untrained woman offering me sex on her terms doesn’t do much for me.

Q: What about pain? Do you use safewords? And how rough is CNC?

I use some pain but not a lot. But using any pain means that communication is essential in order to make sure that I don’t push a woman past her limits and its something we’ll discuss beforehand. It can also be an issue for bondage.

I insist on free use with every woman I am with but there are some times woman just wants to get conquered, and if so I’ll pick up on that from her behavior (resisting, bratting, etc), and we’ll do CNC instead. In that situation I prefer the woman to push through in the moment and then discuss afterwards what worked for each of us.

Q: Any books you recommend?

Yes, Conquer Me by Kacie Cunningham is a great book by a sub for subs.

Q: You talked about mentorship / personal growth?

In my experience, young women don’t do that well on their own - they tend to be directionless and don’t really develop their strengths and talents. There are many exceptions, but I think that’s the norm and maybe you’ve seen that too. I also think a lot of younger people are really struggling with issues like anxiety, lack of motivation and direction, etc and could use some help.

A D/s relationship can be used to accelerate development in a sub, making her stronger, more capable, and mature. I’ve seen this in other subs with older Doms (that they have more depth and ability than other women of the same age), and I’ve done it myself with women I’ve been in relationships with and have some impressive success stories.

How does a sub get that relationship? For me, all a sub has to do is ask. Because just like subs enjoy giving themselves sexually, Doms, at least good ones in my opinion, enjoy being there for subs as guides and mentors. I'm always very proud of my subs and what they are able to accomplish, and I always want to be a positive influence in their lives.

Q: You're a writer?

I can do a few things well, and writing is one of them. You might like this story, "Kat's vacation" which I wrote for a friend, it's pretty short and is about BDSM sex and love / trust. If you really want to get to know me, I also have an autobiographical story that includes some info on how I turned my HS girlfriend into a sub. But it's much more of a dark romance (romance with seriously dark themes) than D/s erotica, and its much longer, so it may not be your thing. It's called "What Stella Needed". I love it and am proud of it, but I know it's not for everyone.