Thank you.

Thank you for everything. Thank you for giving me exactly what you are willing to give.

Thank you for giving me the pain. Thank you for giving me the pleasure.

Thank you for coming into my world, teaching and guiding me every step of the way.

Thank you for holding me the way you do. Touching me the way you do. Reminding me the way you do.

Thank you for grounding me. Thank you for making me feel it in the moment, and for reminding me that the moment is all it ever will be.

Reminding me that moments come and moments go.

Reminding me that our moment is temporary. That our moment is soon to pass. That our moment is not an investment, but an enjoyment. Though, when it’s reminded so often, is that it lessens the intensity of love. Which is good! That’s what you want. I’m always so happy to give you exactly what you want.

I don’t want to slowly fizzle out. But. Clearly that’s what you want, and the people around you seem to make you feel like you have to hide me because their opinion weighs heavy on you. And I get it. I do. Maybe I’m the bad one. Maybe I’m wrong for asking you to do this. Maybe I’m asking for too much even in this way. So. I’ll do my best to fizzle out. For you. For your future that doesn’t include me.

Our moments will come and go. But they will never be as they were before.

We’re good. Just like you said. We’re good as long as it’s not hurting me.

When I’m reminded though, it does. So. I’ll do my best. Because it’s honestly going to hurt either fucking way. At least this way offers pleasure with pain. The other way is just. Pain.

Signed, Girl trying to fizzle out, who feels like she never really will.