Hey fellas!

Firstly, thanks for your interest. It’s mighty flattering but please do pause and consider the following before ‘shooting your shot’.

Are you size queen compliant? This means you must be truly 7.5” and above to ride this ride. I’m very spoiled at home and like what I like.

Are you actually single or do you have permission to play? If no, please do not contact me. Cheaters are fucking gross.

Condoms are non-negotiable. Full stop. If you’re just “too big” or “had a bad experience” sorry, not sorry, it’s not happening. Recent STI testing and being responsible is very sexy.

I’ve got enough “hey” to feed a hundred horses, so just don’t.

Can you formulate sentences and create a greeting beyond “hey” or “love your tits”? Congratulations, you’re ahead of the curve!

Cucks/queans…you can send your wife or partner over but no face pictures or videos will happen. You are welcome to sit in the corner and watch us/me, it’s hot.

If you’re thicc fit or muscular, you immediately have my attention. Tell me how much you deadlift and I’ll feed you cookies. If you’re slender, I’m sorry darlings I’m not your girl.

Thanks for the read and happy perving, ya perverts. Respectfully. 😘