I like to keep these posts as a sort of diary of sorts. So I write about my current troubles and issues like I've done in the past. How do I crop this to look elegant? Anyways.. I'm not eating very much nowadays. I'm losing a bunch of weight like I wanted, and ill probably reach my goal next year at this rate. I know this sounds vain, but a part of me doesn't want to lose the weight because I never want to be seen as attractive by men. I only like women. Another part of me knows if I go on dating apps once I've lost the weight look better...they'll only be interested in my looks? Dating apps are so artificial. Another thing I've been thinking of more lately is my sexuality. Obviously, I like women. But...I don't know how much I like them sexually. When I think about it, it's more of a means to an end. I don't want anything done to me, I know that. I'm not a touchy person either. I can't stop thinking about certain exes. A few days ago I had a dream about one, out of the blue. It made me start thinking about some of them. I just want it out of my head. All of them.