Here’s the dichotomy I’m examining. Active vs passive submission.

I am uncertain it's fair to even pit the two against one another since I think both are often present to different degrees within a dynamic. They can exist alongside one another in the same day, or even in the same scene.

I am picturing walking in the door to find my delightful submissive partner has prepared my favorite meal and set up the massage table to give me a massage apropos of nothing. No stressful week he's trying to alleviate, no making up for an argument, just a generous man sharing his time and skill and showcasing his devotion to me through a thoughtful act on a night he knew I'd be free. That's active submission to me - often anticipatory service driven by an internal locus of control. It can be kind and service driven actions, gestures or really even thoughts created by him and directed toward me. I imagine I would thank him with a smile and a kiss and tell him to go put on a specific kind of lingerie after the massage and wait for me on his knees by the couch. He complies. That is a kind of more passive submission - obeying orders, allowing himself to be directed, guided and shaped. Giving way to external forces and my will.

I am picturing walking in the door to find my delightful submissive partner who has prepared my favorite meal and set up the massage table to give me a massage apropos of nothing. No stressful week he's trying to alleviate, no making up for an argument, just a generous man sharing his time and skill and showcasing his devotion to me through a thoughtful act on a night he knew I'd be free. That's active submission to me - often anticipatory service driven by an internal locus of control. It can be kind and service-driven actions, gestures or even thoughts created by him and directed toward me. I imagine I would thank him with a smile and a kiss and tell him to go put on a specific kind of lingerie after the massage and wait for me on his knees by the couch. He complies. That is a kind of more passive submission - obeying orders, allowing himself to be directed, guided, and shaped. Giving way to external forces and my will. ll.

I have a strong preference was active and anticipatory submission. A man who’s pushing himself to serve versus a man waiting for direction. I do cherish obedience though, especially when it is hardfought. I just prefer to guide alive energy - feels like holding lightning in my hands vs cupping still waters. I am not a fan of brats so the I suppose it's a tamed kind of lightening but someone who can move under his own steam but still prioritizes me and my happiness will always melt me.

Choosing submission instead of having it handed to you is deeply appealing to me and likely always will be.