Welcome:

This post is long... very, very long, sorrrrry! I just wanted to be as clear as possible about what I’m looking for, as well as sharing a bit about me. So maybe grab a drink or two maybe even three at this point…

What I am NOT looking for:

I figured it may be best to start with what I am NOT looking for, hopefully it’ll save time for those reading this who are seeking something I am not.

I have NO interests in the following:

~ Online dynamics/cyber sex
~ Married men
~ Younger men - my ideal age range is 29-55
~ Joining a couple
~ Finding a sub
~ Age Play
~ DD/lg
~ Finding a ‘Daddy’
~ Sending/receiving nudes
~ Switching
~ Pet play
~ Photographers offering their services
~ Walking red flags
~ Dick pics, please NO dick pics (instant block)

I am sure that you are all lovely people, but all of the above are things that I am NOT interested in at all.

About Me:

Vanilla me:

(The boring bit…)

I am 25 years old, single and live alone in a quiet little village in the Oxfordshire countryside. I work part time in admin. I love socialising with my friends and seeing family. I enjoy cooking/baking (cookies are my specialty), long country walks, travelling, holidays, driving and listening to music. I used to work for local radio so have a strong passion for music. I am into all the old stuff, nothing new (all too repetitive for me). GNR, Fleetwood Mac, AC/DC, David Bowie, Queen… all that good stuff. I enjoy watching classic comedies, crime dramas and horrors (admittedly I do Google where the jump scares are when I am watching a horror alone, ha). I have a somewhat dry and at times dark sense of humour, my friends would probably describe me as quirky and definitely honest (maybe too honest at times). I am a very caring person, I enjoy helping people. I always try to see the best in people.

Physically:

I am 5'3 (on a good day), white (very pale), curvy, have long, straight auburn hair, hazel eyes, and I wear glasses. I also have small boobs (I've got super, super sensitive nipples). I am a bit of a 'plain Jane' to be honest. I don't tend to wear makeup or wear overly revealing clothing. But I still like to look presentable and classy.

Something I’d like to share…:

I am autistic.

No, it does NOT hold me back in life. I am able to mask very well, and although there can be some crappy days here and there, I manage. I can and often do get somewhat anxious when meeting or even speaking with new people, and visiting unfamiliar places can be overwhelming, but I am still able to manage this. Everyday I try to push myself a little bit more out of my comfort zone. I just need a bit of time. It’s important for me to build trust and feel comfortable with someone before meeting them in person.

I want to be clear that I do have the FULL mental capacity to understand what BDSM is and the risks that can come with it. I am not ‘vulnerable’ and you would NOT be taking advantage of me (in that sense at least ;)). I sometimes wonder if my autism plays a part in my interest in kink… the routine, the structure, the rules. Who knows..?

Please be aware that (and I say this without meaning to cause any upset or offence)… I will not be prepared to enter a dynamic with someone else who is autistic. There are reasons for this, which I do not feel comfortable sharing. I am however more than happy to make kinky friends with anyone :)

Kink me:

(The less boring bit, I hope…)

For as long as I can remember I have always been drawn to kink, even before I knew what BDSM actually was I'd find myself having thoughts of wanting to be tied up, to be hurt during sex and to follow orders. I've had several vanilla relationships and although they've been fulfilling in some areas, it's always felt like there's been something missing. Control.

I am completely new to the lifestyle with some very mild kinky experience in the past. A couple of years ago I began seeing an older guy on and off, although he wasn’t exactly a Dom he did let me explore my submissive side. He had some toys and restraints. During our times together (after a lot of trust was built) he used the restraints on me, blindfolded, teased me with orgasm control and denial, spanked me, used a riding crop on me and we had rougher sex. Although it was still quite tame, it was the best sexual experiences I’d ever had. And it’s left me wanting more.......

I no longer find purely vanilla relationships enjoyable, and am now in a place where I want to fully explore my submissive side within a D/s dynamic...

Kinks and limits:

There are many, many kinks that I would LOVE to explore in a safe environment with the right Dom, including:

Kinks:

~ Impact play
~ Restraints
~ Breath play/choking
~ Blindfolds/Gags
~ Pain
~ Edge/fear play
~ Humiliation
~ Degradation
~ Edging/teasing
~ Orgasm control/denial
~ Nipple torture
~ Anal (currently an anal virgin)
~ Name calling
~ TPE
~ Free use
~ CNC/abduction play

I do have hard limits, and hope you do too. These include:

Hard limits:

~ Anything illegal (obviously)
~ Blood/permanent injury
~ Scat/Vomit
~ Pet play
~ Age play
~ Wearing latex/leather (sensory issues, ugh)
~ Online dynamics
~ Snapchat

There may be some hard/soft limits that I am yet to discover.

What I AM looking for:

I am looking for an experienced Dom/Master (preferably with a dark, sadistic side) to enter a D/s dynamic with. Obviously I know this doesn’t happen over night, but I would like to get to a point where I can be in a long term D/s dynamic, with the potential of exploring TPE. A dynamic with rules, protocol, structure, punishments when necessary. I wouldn’t want the dynamic to just be limited to the bedroom, I’d ideally like it to be present during every day life, even in subtle little ways. I am not necessarily looking for a romantic relationship, but if one were to develop then I am okay and open to that.

Building trust and setting boundaries takes time. A dynamic does NOT happen over night. If you expect/demand me to submit to you, use honourifics, or follow any orders from you after just a few messages then you are NOT what I am looking for. I am not willing to engage in any form play until we have met in person, established a connection and set boundaries.

WHO I am looking for:

As I mentioned above, I am looking for an EXPERIENCED Dom/Master to guide and train me on this journey. Please be fully single as I have no interest in getting involved with married or partnered up men (even if your partner is okay with it). I do prefer older guys (age range - 29-55, love a DILF).

I am looking for a Dom who would be willing to take time to go at a steady pace while training me, as I’ve mentioned it does take me time to warm to people and feel comfortable, so I’m not looking to rush this. A Dom who is a gentleman, respectful, genuine, sane, caring, and of course strict when needed, preferably with a slight sadistic streak.

Physically - I like guys who take care of themselves, who are tall, preferably have a full head of hair, and full set of teeth. I do like guys who are strong both physically and mentally. Personal hygiene is an obvious must. I don’t mind if you have children, but I want to make it clear that I do NOT want children of my own, that’s a decision I made a long time ago, and I am not prepared to change it.

Some Final Points:

(I really tried not to come across as a Karen here…)

~ With regards to my autism, although I do live alone I would never feel comfortable hosting at mine. I have spent a lot of time making my house my 'safe space', I rarely even let my friends or family over. Ideally, I would prefer it if the Dom were able to host, as hotels can add a bit of extra anxiety, but if for whatever reason you are unable or not comfortable with hosting then I would consider hotels (as long as we have met prior).

~ In terms of moving forward, if we gel on here I'd be happy to move to either WhatsApp or Telegram (I'm not on anything else - the likes of Snapchat and Kik are hard limits for me). As for phone calls, I would be happy to do this once we've got to know each other a bit. Be warned... I will be very shy and quiet to begin with.

~ I am NOT comfortable sharing face pictures until there's been some trust built between us, so face pics won't be instant, please do not hound me for them after a few messages. This also applies to asking for nudes - the answer will always be no.

~ I am NOT looking for one off encounters or something short term. I'd ideally like this to be an ongoing long term dynamic.

~ Please NO married/partnered up men! The amount of messages I’ve had saying “I have read your profile. I am married but…” but nothing. Please respect my decision, I am NOT interested. You could be the most perfect Dom that ticks every other box for me, but if you’re married, in a relationship/dynamic or whatever… I am NOT interested.

~ Nothing makes me cringe more than messages such as ‘hey baby/sexy’, ‘mmmm’ or ‘let me be ur (spelt like that 😑) daddy’. No. Just no. I’m sure you mean well, but I won’t be responding. I’m more likely to respond if you actually converse, tell me a little bit about yourself, show me you’ve read my profile. Just a ‘hey’ doesn’t give me much to go off.

Whelp! I think I may have come across a little bit like a Karen up there ^ … I promise I’m not! 😆

fin

(At last!)

I think that pretty much covers everything. Congratulations if you've made it to the end without falling asleep, I owe you a cookie! If all my waffle hasn't put you off then please do feel free to message me. Fair warning - I am not on here a lot so I may take a couple of days or so to respond, though I don't tend to respond to one word messages, and I certainly don't respond to dick pics or sex chat.

Please let me know if you have actually read my post!

I am on Fetlife, this is a copy and paste of my bio on there. I have many writings and some pictures on there, please feel free to check my profile out. USER - _shysub_

I hope to hear from you…

~ M xx