So I'm approaching 4 months on HRT and I'm starting to notice things. Both mentally and fysically. I guess the strongest symptoms are psycological because I get very emotionall now, whereass I used to be a person who like literally never cries. I've been a officer in the military for crying out loud, I never cried. Anyway.. My skin is amazingly soft and my chest is starting to develop. Wish my butt grew that fast too...

Being the impatient person that I am, I hoped for more fysical changes then I have atm. Like more fat redistribution mostly. I also know it's a marathon and not a sprint and I should be happy that my levels are at optimal levels within 3 months. Things will turn out great as my fiancee tells me. <3

I work out 3 times/ week but still gain weight so easily if I cheat just once. I'm hungry ALL THE TIME and have these wierd period cravings for unhealty stuff constantly. I'm a strong woman though and keep a healthy normal diet. Because I also know that my body needs fuel in order to develop now when I'm on HRT. Just as long as I keep it healty I let my body tell me what it needs.

I wish I didn't need to hide my feminimity though and it kind of makes me feel dysphoric. I'm still afraid to show in public I have breast development so I always wear baggy shirts for example. And never use makeup to an extent that is is noticable. I'm hoping to come out completely at my 1 year mark when I also have my FFS surgery, but I'm so afraid of what people will say or how they will react. Especially my family. My brother didn't respond well at all so I'm terrified of how the others will react now.

The whole transgender thing is a hot topic now in Sweden and with my dad being a very conservative person I think it's better to wait with the news untill things have settled down a bit.

I'm starting to think allot more about stuff and get distracted with things. Maybe thats just a "womans way of thinking". I ump back and forth in my thoughts like I didnt used to. It's fun but also a bit wierd to realize things about my personality that changes but I still feel I'm the one I've always been.

Just a quick diary today because I felt like it. I wish I had more friends that can relate to what I'm going through. Maybe someday =)

Take care all you beauties!