Some of us may have a bit of a firmer desire here due to past experiences of feeling underappreciated before.. but that’s why we choose to find those willing to express theirs more. I am clear that this is an entry ticket that feels good to me because it has been organic with so many people. I also know what it feels like to have the opposite, so I gravitate towards the people who will naturally of me these things. Don’t hold people to unrealistic standards but also try to value yourself in the way that feels good for you.

The reality is that some people ARE takers, and will disguise themselves as the opposite. This is where communicating boundaries comes in. Some guys feel like women can be too boundaried or have too many “requirements” when first meeting them… but there are reasons for this. take it from an extremely sexually free and open moment… People will try to take any chance they get. That’s why I have the boundaries I have now, to care for myself. I recently told someone that I can be everything you could ever want sexually, but you’ve got to show that it’s worth the investment for me first. I think if you can find a line between holding those honest boundaries for yourself, feel good to you without punishing someone for past mistakes someone else has made, you’re doing a pretty good job.

Let’s say it frankly… a universal truth is that if you make a woman feel appreciated, comfortable, and heard she will literally open up for you. you’re so worried that things aren’t going to happen for yourself that you try to force it, which in turn ends up offputting us anyway. You’re not going to force us, we will just leave and find spending that feels more organic. So many of you, in playing the devils advocate, ruin this for yourselves. We just want our “price of admission” met in a realistic way, then we can feel free to be our sluttiness selves with you. This is in the context of FWB casual type relationships; but it’s true everywhere.

When you getting to know someone, you you don’t owe each other every part of you. It does take some trust, confidence that you can invest and feel invested in, and signaling authenticity. People who want to be in your life will make a way to show that, not just try to play devils advocate when they are questioned. Typically, when you truly value someone and they value you there will be signs and communication is the bridge between blurriness and directness. just random Tuesday morning thoughts on interpersonal relating!