It's going to sound weird, but I wish I had seen my type of body as I was growing up in the media, in a magazine that I stole from my parents, in a movie, in ANYTHING. I would have loved to even see a body like mine in the porn I was watching at 13/14 years old sneaking around on the family computer.

Maybe if I had seen a body like mine, 16 year old me wouldn't have cried over how ugly and fat she felt. Maybe if I had seen cellulite and arms like mine I wouldn't have worn pants and hoodies all summer , EVERY summer for YEARS, in the 110° heat, because I was too afraid to wear shorts or anything that showed my arms and thighs.

Maybe I wouldn't have developed several eating disorders, gone through several surgeries, etc IF I would have seen even a body close to looking like mine. I hated myself for years...up until recently in fact. I started learning to love myself when I started taking photos of myself in lingerie. I saw myself for the first time during that photoshoot. At that time I was 330lbs, but I felt "pretty" for the first time I can remember.

A lot has happened since then. A LOT. I've lost a lot of weight. Gained some back. Went through loss. Grief. I have a son who is intellectually disabled. I lost a whole ass family. I started from square one again as a single mother at 30 years old. All that to say, something I kept holding onto was that feeling I got when I saw myself in these beautiful photos. Then OF came along, so I jumped on that when I finally got the balls. Yes, I DID start off this journey by making money off of it. Now?

Now everything I post and ever will post is stuff I want to post for myself. I do not sell, because what I do and what I am worth is so much more than I can define by monetary value. I've received tons of messages from women AND men stating that seeing me helps them with their own confidence. That's something I will take with me forever.

So if you have had the attention span to read up until now, now you know a little bit deeper into my life.

TL;DR?

I do this for myself for free, because I like being naked. Got it?