In grade 9, 2019, I met a girl. Her name is Lisa. She has the most beautiful shimmering black hair and gorgeous hazel eyes. Her smile could bring light and joy to the deepest and darkest pits of hell. Her smile was like nothing I'd ever seen before, it caught me completely of gaurd. Her nose, so small and cute, so perfectly placed. She gave me butterflies without even saying a word, shyly glancing at me from behind her friends. I knew I was in love from that very moment, but to my hearts demise she had a boyfriend.

I asked her to be my valentine for three years, each with the same soul wrecking answer, "sorry, I have a boyfriend.". But then, on October 21st, 2021, a message... "Hey", the conversation began. We spoke for hours about art and crime and the holocaust. We laughed all night, but just as quickly as it began, the conversation died. Only for it to start once again on the 27th of November, 2021, with a message that read, "Hey how are you" this message lead to a, conversation in which she spoke about her and her boyfriend having some issues and later on breaking up. I know, I know, it's sad and unfortunate but being the positive person I am, I saw a chance. A chance of finally getting the girl I fell in love with two years before. But wait, I couldn't just tell her then, it was too soon. So I waited. We continued to text eachother everyday since then and got to know eachother pretty well. I know she gets really annoyed with spelling mistakes and that she loves the colour black. I know she loves cats and enjoys afternoon naps. I know she likes staying up late listening to music, I know she tends to stay home due to being "sick". Her favorite band is Depeche mode and her favorite movie is Coraline.

In January 2022, I told her I liked her and received a response I was not expecting, "you're a very close friend of mine". We continued to talk daily and got to know each other even more. When February showed up I figured it was now or never, so I mustered up all the courage I could and asked her to be my valentine. She replied with a yes as long as we keep it chilled. I got her biltong, as she prefers salty to sweet, and took her out for sushi. We spoke and laughed, got deep and even flirted a little. And at the end of the night I dropped her of at home and said goodnight.

We continued to talk everyday with me telling her that I like her on the odd occasion but unfortunately nothing came from it. I'm now laying in bed typing this out whilst having a conversation with he. And in my head, reminiscing about that times she said she doesn't want to hurt me. If only she knew how much THAT hurt.

So I lay here, on the verge of tears, in love with the girl I can't have.

TL/DR: crying over a girl I can't have.