Whoever she is, she's probably a dream, an impossible reality, or simply, she doesn't exist.

To some, soulmates exist, to others they don't, either way, that's okay. I haven't found mine yet but it's still something I believe in, in a way I can feel the connection, it's distant, faint, but it gives me hope that one day I'll find my person.

I have no idea how, when or where we'll meet but isn't that exciting? Something to look forward to? Something to aim towards?

A while back I wrote something along the lines of how I imagined my perfect partner, now, I get to a lot of people perfection is impossible, and I agree, it doesn't, you won't get something everyone agrees is perfect, everyone has their own version of perfection.

For me my perfect partner isn't perfect for someone else, they probably look at her and say "she's slightly weird" or something else, hell they can say whatever they like but at the end of the day, my perfect partner is perfect for me and that's all I care about, screw what everyone else says, we're a team.

I was gonna say my perfect partner is slightly nerdy but I'm nerdy and I'd like to nerd out with someone over Doctor Who, Star Wars and anything else that captured our interest. Hell if we're that invested in a fandom let's go to an expo or comic con, let's go full nerd and embrace the nerd side.

That's probably too much nerd but then again, is it? There's always more. But yeah someone to nerd out with, get excited for an upcoming movie or episode is something I'd love, into Marvel? Fucking awesome! While I've not read the comics the MCU is such a brilliant concept, I've seen all the movies, some more than once, I am team Iron Man for life and if my partner was team cap, well then, sounds like a good old fashioned nerf gun battle with tumbleweeds and everything followed by a hardcore make up session where she's probably on my face trying to make me say sorry but I say no! Never and then show her whose boss! That's probably slightly graphic but ya know, me and my perfect partner are nerdy and kinky, we're proud of that and love exploring, but more on that later.

Outside of the nerdy stuff whatever hobbies we have we'd support each other with, I'm a gamer and it's okay if my perfect partner wasn't, if she wanted to get into gaming I'd gladly show her what to do, same if she had a hobby she wanted to show me. Say she painted, while I'm absolutely dogshit at painting I'd be enthusiastic about learning, same with a lot of things, I'm surprisingly good at baking but when it comes to cooking, well let's just say the pictures on my profile reflect my skill.

If my partner was an amazing cook then hopefully they'd show me, if not I'll do the washing up, though I have a dishwasher so 😝. But yeah if we did end up cooking or baking I'd love to just come in, chat shit, tease each other and maybe go for the odd kiss (and feel) now and again. Say we were baking, sorry not sorry but there would definitely flour prints in places.

I'd love to find someone I can be my absolute self with, not feeling up to life? Let's just chill on the sofa and binge watch something while we eat junk food and complain about the world. Feeling great? Let's hang out in the garden, watch nature and listen to the peace, maybe we could go on a walk or a drive and just enjoy life together. I have hopes that my perfect partner will be my best friend as well.

Got secrets to share? Let's build a pillow fort and tell the secrets, gossip about people and just be kids, sure sometimes a relationship has to be serious but if you can't be children sometimes then where's the joy? Where's the fun? Let your inner child out and just have fun for a bit (and then the adult comes out and you have to clean up), but that's fine let's sort things out together.

Which brings up problems, one of us had a bad day? Let's just cuddle and complain, I'm a great listener and occasionally give good advice, so let's just chat shit and get it off our chests, a problem shared is a problem halved. Let's be open with each other, no lies, no secrets, just pure honesty and open communication. I hope we'd get to the point where we'd be able to tell what the other was feeling from just a facial expression, we'd know each other that well.

I'd love for me and my partner to just be ourselves, everywhere. A song comes on we like? Dance battle? Someone does something silly? Let's try not to laugh but fail and laugh hard. Someone says something slightly inappropriate? Let's give each other a knowing look and share a smirk.

That's the kind of bond I'm looking for, does it exist? Probably. Hopefully, though I feel to get the full picture I need to cover the sexual side as well, so here we go.

My perfect partner is herself, I know that's vague but I'm a sexual person, sure I watch porn sometimes and have toys to play with, hopefully my partner is similar, maybe she has videos she'd like to watch together, toys she'd like to try together, maybe she wants to try something from one of the videos? I'm game.

I have a very open and active mind, the sky is the limit for the things I'd try, though I do draw the line at poop and stuff, that shit should stay in the toilet, literally.

But yeah, I have a few fetishes and kinks I'd love to explore further, there are positions I've never tried that I would love to try, I'd love to have a partner where we can explore everything together, as said above that can be everyday life or everything to do with sex.

Wanna dress up and have fun in an outfit? Hell yes! Wanna roleplay and try something new? HELL YES! Wanna explore a new fantasy to see if we'd enjoy it? HELL TO THE YES! Life can be short, why not try everything we can.

If one of us was at work and the other at home, maybe they'd get a bit saucy and send a risky picture, text or video, see what happens. If it continued maybe one of us would come home and actually find out, that's what I'm looking for.

While I haven't had a high sex drive in the past, I think the right partner would raise a thing or two.

What I'm looking for is probably normal, but let's be honest, I'm weird, I'm slightly damaged, we are all in a way, I'm not the best looker with the Shrek bod and a picture of me rocking socks and sandals somewhere, but hey, I'm living life, I'm doing what I wanna do, I'm just looking for someone who wants the same, it's probably too much to ask but everyday I get on my knees and pray to the flying spaghetti monster that I find them.

I kid, I'm not religious in the slightest, I make dirty jokes, my mind is a sewer and I'm always looking to tease and wind someone up, I'm a joker, I like pranks and making people laugh and I'm looking for someone who can match me, maybe even shock me, I've found it hard to find someone to keep up and if it was the other way around, wanna just skip to the part where we say I do?

I'm looking for a complete full life with the person I can rely on, the person who can make me laugh from the belly, the person who knows me for me, I'm looking for the person who sees my positives and negatives yet still loves me because I will do the same with them, let's be there for each other through thick and thin and work on each other, together.

I hope I find my match, my perfect partner is out there somewhere, I have no idea when or where but I'm looking forward to meeting. Maybe she's reading this now? Hey you! If that's the case then my DMs are open, be yourself because I will be, I do bite occasionally but I always apologize if it hurts and kiss it better.

I suppose that's it for now, there is definitely more to say, I've barely scratched the surface but I think I've painted a damn good picture of the relationship I want, I'm not a painter but I've always found writing to be my creative output, so in the case my partner is a painter, you paint me like one of your french girls and I'll write you a story, one for the rest of our lives.