My older sister J, has had a very tragic life. My heart truly aches for her and the pure hell that was inflicted on her at such an early age.

I can’t recall if I’m repeating myself, but I’ll blame it on becoming a geriatric idiot. So here it is.

She is about 1 1/2 years older than me. I don’t recall her having a stand out personality, but that fall night in Minnesota clinched her sad life.

As you may recall, she was raped and abused by B and G our older brothers in 1964-65.

Because our parents had no clue how to handle this horrible event, she buried it inside for about 20 years, during her prime young years. She began withdrawing from everyone.

I remember 2-3 years later, finding her 45 single records and using them as frisbees, shattering them into several pieces. Who knows, she might have kept them and become rich with their popularity.

About then, B (and ignorantly me) were peeping at her through a hole in the wall as she bathed. After all of the events, my heart still aches for whatever part that I was involved in.

About 2-3 years on, as she grew older, I remember swapping dirty stories that we made up and being close friends. Her weight began increasing. She began turning more into a recluse. I don’t recall her having any close friends or any worthwhile dates, so we became even closer. I heard that something may have happened during a date with a church member, and to this day, she still has unpleasant feelings towards him.

I remember being close to her bedroom when one of mom’s friends came over and it seemed she was looking down at my sister telling her how to set her bra straps so her breasts were more up than drooping, from her added weight. I didn’t see any sympathy for what she might have been going through to put her in those circumstances.

Our parents put braces on her to help her appearance. She had saved enough money to buy a 1966 Ford Falcon. This gave her more mobility while she had an apartment. It wasn’t long after getting her braces off as she was driving to church following her third shift job, and fell asleep at the wheel, running straight into a “telephone pole”. It destroyed her car and as she lunged forward her steering wheel had no mercy on her perfect teeth. I remember seeing her in the ER with a bloodied mouth, accompanied by cuts and scrapes. Another major set back for her once again.

She tried to serve a church mission, but had some issues before she was scheduled to come home.

She went to Minnesota and was staying with B and his wife and daughter. When I got there on that freezing afternoon on January 1, that unmistakable look was still there. I don’t remember why she didn’t ride home with me, but she opted to take a bus. I don’t understand how she made it throughout the next several days following dad’s demise.

During that year, she went back to school and met a Bolivian fellow who convinced her to approach mom about sponsoring his claim for a marital visa. He had convinced her to marry him. She got pregnant with twin girls, followed by him severely abusing her by biting and hitting her. Mom was stuck with her endorsement of his visa when they split up.

Now J had to raise these beautiful girls by herself trying once again to complete her schooling. Sometime around there, I presume she gave up on school to get a job to feed her little family.

She found a job at the state prison nearby, lowering her self worth while prisoners taunted her to the point of becoming involved with an inmate. She married him somehow and immediately became pregnant. Fortunately, she dumped him too!

Overwhelmed I’m sure, J came home for financial assistance as well as morale assistance. There were always strings attached in the relationship between her and mom. I believe it was mom’s ignorance how she had raised J. All of J’s failures plagued her since 1964-1965 through today.

Looking back, as much as I can remember, I am thoroughly amazed that she is still alive. That in itself reflects the great strength she has built up over the years.

Fast forward to now, her daughters are mostly doing well. They all have become wonderful women and mothers. Two of them suffering badly from the inflicted abuse of previous guys that she married.

J had expressed a desire to upgrade the 170 year old house she bought. When told why the upgrades and pictures, I was flabbergasted at the shape it was in.

As she worked her magic asking for state financial aide and insurance claims she was ready to make a huge dent in the outside of her house.

I was so proud of her! I asked her if I could drive up there to supervise the work that lay ahead. She was so happy. As time drew closer to the project, I mentioned about the project to my siblings and was offered help by most of them, along with children, friends, grandchildren.

As we all met the very first day. I was quick to make it known that I was the contractor and they were my help. Out of the 15 people there, not one of us had any experience with installing siding. However, I had a vision of what I thought what direction things needed to happen. What I didn’t know, I sought out competent advice.

I was not surprised in the suggestions that began popping up. The 3 brothers all had building experience, but the other 2 were trying to push their unwanted ideas on me. I really had to put my foot down a few times over the next weeks, to bring them back to my plans. The sad, and expected results were generally that they were going to do it their way regardless. It made it to where I regretted inviting them at all.