So, this is a written history of my siblings, told from my point of view, feeling, and observations. I’m going to use the first letter of their name to keep it straight in my head! Here we go. Hopefully, y’all have read my other stories, so you can.possibly focus on the timeline.

I guess I should begin with the eldest, R. As I have been told, he was born into a miserable life ridden with Leukemia. Mom always said what a happy child he was till he closed his eyes for the last time at 5. My parents were farmers, and not rich ones either. Actually, I don’t think back then that any were. A year or so after he was born, my parents had another son.

The real story is with B, now the eldest. I firmly believe that as Mom and Dad were struggling to keep R alive, that B had his share of neglect. He claimed that during his younger years (5-7) that a or some cousins molested him. I’d like to believe him, but deep down, he has been a predator.

As he was growing up, when I was 7, he and I were riding our bikes around our residential area, when we accidentally stumbled on a dried creek bed lined with a lot of raggedy tall brush. As young boys, we wanted to explore the surroundings to look for a treasure. There was nothing found. Oh well, we needed to head home anyway. He told me that he had to pee, before we left, so he unzipped his pants and let loose. I followed suit, primarily to be one of the guys. After we finished, B asked if I had seem another boys penis. Well not really, I said. Well, he suggested, would you like to taste mine? Not understanding where that came from, but trusting his wisdom, I agreed, and I kneeled down and he put it in my mouth for a second, It tasted horrible, but the texture was different and ok.

He zipped up and off we went home. I was uneasy at this point. What I had done was wrong. I don’t know why, I just did. The days following, I was still questioning my action. I should have said no.

As my birthday approached, it was traditional that kids were to be baptized into the church at 8 years old. I had a pretty good idea what it was all about. It was a cleaning from my past sins. I knew that I had a whopper that definitely needed taken away from my heart, and I couldn’t wait.

Dad had been hired by the church (Mormon) to supervise the construction of 4 chapels across the mid-west. At this point, I knew that he had my birthday on his mind, wanting to have a new font to baptize me in. He came to me though, and explained that there was no way the chapel would be ready in time for me. He asked if I wanted to wait till things were done to accommodate this, or would I rather have it done in the font that was in the basement of a remodeled house for us to meet in. Even though it was a very rough idea of a font, made of cinder block and plaster, I told Dad that I wanted to proceed with it on my birthday. I needed the burden removed badly.

The following summer, the chapel was close enough complete, that he could turn the remainder of the work over to the local members. We packed up our belongings, and headed north to Dad’s next and final project. Mom & Dad somehow had found a 2 story house for us to live in. The surroundings were more lush than the past year in our other house. The new house was luxurious to me adorned with hardwood trim and flooring, similar to a craftsman style design.

It was furnished with a baby grand piano, and an old timey radio. You know the ones that had a huge band width, that you might be able to her international radio stations. It also had an old 78 rpm record player, accompanied with records. The music was for old people! Around then was a new era of rock n’ roll music.

Some time in our first residential fall, B and my other older brother G, discovered the Smelt spawning season, and they could actually net them at the mouth of a river flowing into the lake. They caught them, and they had to clean them. There was a disgusting pile on the floor of the laundry room. By the time they were eaten, I never wanted to see another.

The sun was setting earlier in the fall, as Dad was spending long hours running his project. One night, Mom was gone doing something, and had left all of us kids home alone. My younger sisters, R & E and I were playing upstairs by our bedrooms, when we hear a strange noice coming from another bedroom. I tried to open the door, but it was locked. My brothers B & G, with my older sister J, were inside the locked bedroom. It was them that I heard the noise coming from. I called out to them to open the door. It was then, that I heard some frantic movements, followed by J asking for her panties. I had no idea what was going on, but it couldn’t be good, if J was asking for her underwear.

When Mom got home, there was some tattling about what was going on. She called me in and wanted my version, so I told her exactly what i had heard. She dismissed me and that was the last that was spoken of it. My later discovery found that B & G had truly been in the bedroom with J’s underwear off. It had progressed to the point that they had raped her and taken her virginity.

Several months later, after a record breaking snow storm, we once again packed our goodies and made our way back towards our farm, but stopping on the way at our previous city. I think we left on an overcast Saturday, but a few hours into our trip southwest, we had a rain induced accident that caused the very dense tandem trailer Dad had rented, to begin swerving back and forth throwing the car off the highway. Everything was totaled out, Mom broke her back,and Dad had to hustle to get a new station wagon and be ready to leave when Mom was released from the hospital.

We had been back to our hometown for a year and a half. We had another 2 story house, but not as nice as the other one. I gathered that finances were pretty tight, because Mom had to find work to help Dad, as he resumed his WWII flying career. It was a rough time for us kids. B & G were constantly fighting. There was true unrest, as their hormones were raging.

A part from my previous sad experiences, I wasn’t surprised when B started dating. Us boys were given army foot lockers for our belongings. There were barely any dressers. The weeks were passing, and my discoveries continued. Things were pretty calm, but there was a time when B was paying us a dime or nickel for us 3 younger ones to give him back rubs. Always on a one to one time frame. We I was nosing through B’s things, I found a Playboy magazine. I also found an opened (I don’t know if they were sealed up back then) condom (rubber). I had no idea what it was for or how to use it. I was only 10 years old! One day, he and I were up in our room playing or something, when he asked if I’d like to see something cool. I was naive and always game. Because there were steep pitches on both sides of the roof, we had storage and closet space for our things. I followed him through the rafters, down the side of the house. He pushed the sconce to the sink plumbing forward to allow us to see in the upstairs bathroom. He looked, told me to be quiet, and let me peek through the hole , only to find my older sister J bathing. I giggled, because I’d never seen anyone naked before. He slugged me and told me to shut up.

Things continued on as he started dating. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if he had tried things with them. Dad flew B up to Idaho for short period of schooling. While there, his girlfriend called and I’d talk to her for an hour each time. I was only 10! She spoke like I was her boyfriend. Odd!

Not long after B was in school, he qualified (worthy) to serve a mission for our church. I didn’t understand why, after all I had witnessed. Well, he was gone for 2 years, and was for someone else to worry about. He had met a girl at school that he liked, and not long after coming home invited her to come home for my parents to meet her. It was reported to me that one morning he rushed down to her room and flipped her covers open. The problem was that her nightie had risen up in her sleep, to which he and my sister got an eyeful of a woman’s anatomy. Not long later they got married in a Mormon temple in Utah. It was a big thing, but instead of showing up in a conservative suit and tie he wore an orange shirt with matching tie and casual slacks. Mom about had an embarrassing coronary stroke.

Off they went into the sunset, to start their married life. I had turned 14 years old and it was 1969 or 1970. It seemed that after then, things never went smoothly for them. There were some emotional problems that were genetic that she was trying to figure out. I never knew how B handled it all. I believe that a year later, they were blessed with a lovely baby girl. The new in-laws were excited to see the child, so B asked Mom & Dad how they could get her to the in-laws. Dad had become a successful airplane pilot by then and suggested they rent a smaller plane and fly her there. Since was in the beginning phase of my own lesson, Dad let me be the pilot, and he’d coach me there and back. I was a nervous wreck.

A couple of years later right after Christmas 1972, he had gotten a job with Walgreens cafeteria. Since they had an apartment in the Twin Cities, they were having difficulty getting their things packed for the 7 hour trip south to Iowa, for his new job. Once again more drama. My older sister J had been staying with them for a while.

After New Years, Dad told me to take his 1961 pickup and drive up to get them in the Twin Cities. When I got there, the 3 of them were fighting, and nothing was ready to go. My plan was to get there, quickly load up the truck and head back south to Iowa. It took an extra day to finally get packed up, and head south. We arrived at someone’s house late and headed for bed. Before sleep came, I got a phone call from Dad, asking why I was not home. I promised him that I’d quickly get unloaded and be on my way. It must have been have been about noon before on I got on the road. It was January 3rd, 1973.

I pulled into our driveway around 3:00 or 4:00 that afternoon. We had been having freezing and drifting snow for days, and that Iowa cold….it goes right through you. I had a church youth meeting around 6:00pm at the chapel. Maybe 30 minutes after I arrived, someone gathered everyone up and sent us to our homes. My younger sisters R, E, and I got in the car for the 10 minute drive home. After walking in the back door, Mom told us that Dad had been in a horrible plane crash and he and all his passengers were dead. It was a tragic and silent time for me. I had no one that could comfort me, except for the usual condolences. It took me maybe 4 years to come to some terms with it. Now 50 years later, I am way farther along with my grief.